Secret Snowman Shenanigans

This season I choose to participate in my work's secret Snowman. I first chose myself which wouldn't work, so I picked the only name available which left my name for my friend Diandra. She therefore became my "not so secret" Snowman. To say she knocked it out of the ballpark would be an understatement.

The first week I forgot to take a picture but she got me popcorn and boxed candy for a family movie night. I was kind enough to share my popcorn but kept the candy to myself.

Week two she surprised me with this gem. It isn't a Christmas ornament, it is now desk decor! Hangs next to my desk and I love it. Almost matches my tattoo!

Week three was a little whimsical but I ate them. Who doesn't love Harry Potter and candy. Put the two together, AWESOME! Thankfully, the right side one came with a sticker that I can keep forever!

Then, I only got a picture of half of my final gift. The other half is a nice succulent pot. I got this amazing Idaho succulent sticker! I love, love, love it!

I thought the overall experience was so fun. Even though I knew it was her I still had fun. My "not so secret Snowman" was amazing.

Thank you again Diandra! 

Mavrick Turns 2!

February 11, 2013 

February 13, 2018

March 3, 2018

June 17, 2018

July 20, 2019

November 30, 2019

I wrote a series of hikus back in 2018, this one fits well

Dogs bring laughter 

They give love and affection

Take our everything

Dogs are friends, children

more then just a pet for sure

priceless companions

Nothing can replace

The love of a faithful dog

He will sit and stay

Dogs are more then pets

Giving far more then they take

Dog is man's best friend

Mavrick is such a ham. He watches TV and goes crazy every time there is an animal on there (especially a dog or other four legged creature who is "talking"). He is the first dog I've had who gets so into the TV. It gets a little irritating when I want to watch a dog show or even a non-dog show that involves a pet (dog walker on a regular tv show just winds him up like no other!) 

He is an avid chewer and has gone through the bark box toys that Odin has been hoarding. We attempted to upgrade for a while, but he didn't like the "stronger" toys and they were really just more dangerous then the fluff being all over the living room. So, we just deal with mutilated toys. We haven't had a box recently that he doesn't immediately chew up at least one of the toys the first day or two. 

I'm hoping to get him in training because I can't seem to do it on my own. He will sit and lay down and do other "tricks" when food is involved, but otherwise, forget about it. Leash training is a joke. I would just love to be able to take him out and about without worry of a shoulder dislocation. (suggestions of dog training in the Boise area that won't cost me an arm and a leg would be awesome!) 

Can't believe this sweet boy is two today. While I was reluctant to have another dog, I can't imagine my life without him. He is my snuggle buddy and guard dog. My girls' protector and Odin's playmate. While I don't love the kisses, I can't imagine my life without that sweet face in it.

High School Memories

I saw this on facebook and thought it might be an interesting post for my blog. Actually, I got to talking to McKayla about this blog, she said she might want to read it sometime. This might be a post she might someday want to read, something about her mom's years in high school...

Class of 2002 -- Lebanon High School, Lebanon Oregon

Did you marry your high school sweetheart? Yes, we were married in June 21, 2003 and our marriage ended January of 2014. I think it was a pretty successful high school romance. Produced three beautiful little girls. Not all divorces are terrible, ours was amicable and we remain friendly, co-parenting our children successfully.

This is me and my "high school sweetheart, at the baby shower our church
threw for us for McKayla, one month (almost exactly) before she was born.
This was two years after we got married, three years after graduation


Type of car: I didn't drive in high school. Didn't get my license until I was married. At that time we drove an Ford Escort Pony hatchback.

very similar to this one, but I stole this pic from google

What kind of job? Also didn't have a job until after high school. Unless you count summer camp. I did work at Camp Kuratli between my sophomore and junior years (2000) and again between my Junior and Senior years (2001), both times as a kitchen helper/waitress. My first "real" job was as a waitress at Redbeards Steak and Seafood restaurant and I worked there until after McKayla was born

Summer 2000

Summer 2001

Where did you live? Lebanon, Oregon.

Were you popular? No. I was a newspaper "nerd" which was okay with me. I had my own group of friends who I ate lunch with and associated with.


Were you in choir/band? I was in band my first year. I was in choir for a year (maybe two) but then moved on to newspaper after I took a journalism class. Loved it and didn't look back.


Ever get suspended? No. I did get in trouble once in middle school for "walking through the grass." We were in modular classrooms at the time and they were trying to grow the grass back from when they had placed them. It was my only detention and yes, I cried.


If you could, would you go back? I might, just for a day or two. Only if it were in the same time period though. Seems like the "kids today" have more problems then we did...


Still talk to the person that you went to prom with? I would hope so, he's the father of my children. lol


Did you skip school? I think once, with my best friend Sam. I was so paranoid that she never asked me to do it again. I was sure we were going to get arrested.


Go to all the football games? I think I went to one or two. It was mostly for newspaper things. Not a real sports person.


Favorite subjects? Newspaper, journalism, English


Do you still have your yearbook? All four of em!


Did you follow the "original" career path? what career path. I never really wanted to go to college. Just planned to find a job after school and live and I think I have done that.


Do you still have your senior ring? Never got one.


Favorite Teacher? My journalism/newspaper adviser Mrs Graham...


What was your style? Blue jeans and a baby tee kind of girl.


Favorite Shoes? I had quite a few pair of shoes. Typical 90's style, regrettable I am sure....


Favorite thing to eat for lunch? The pizza pockets from the cafe, not the cafeteria. There was a difference.


Favorite band? Oh, I was a big boy band fan. Loved the Backstreet Boys in my early high school. Jimmy introduced me to his girl Britney Spears. We learned to love quite a few bands together like Fall Out Boy, New Found Glory, My Chemical Romance, Good Charlotte, Simple Plan and Jimmy Eat World. We had some eclectic mixed cd's back in the day.


High school hair? Natural brown, long.


How old when you graduated? Barely 18. I graduated in early June, turned 18 on May 18.


Throwback graduation photo of me with my family. June 2002
From left: Mom, my brother Michael (14 at the time), myself, Dad and my sister Colleen (16 at the time)

Out of the Darkness Walk

One month ago today, on October 21, Stephen and I as well as Jimmy, Frances and six of our combined seven children participated in the Treasure Valley Out of the Darkness Walk to end Suicide.

Together our team raised 426.38 to help end suicide. Fundraising is still open until the end of the year if you want to donate. You can reach my fundraising page here.

If you have never participated in one of these events, it is something you need to do. Seriously.

The bead ceremony at the beginning had nearly everyone emotional. Of course, if you know me at all, you know I was crying. Before the walk, they have a table set up where you can get a necklace of beads for each color that represents you.

Then during the opening ceremony they have a presenter who calls out what each color stands for and has everyone wearing that color hold them up (if they are able/willing/want to) and it is just a powerful thing to see every parent who has lost a child to suicide holding up those white beads. The part that really got me going was when the presenter asked all those with gold beads to hold them up, those representing the loss of a parent, and these tiny girls next to me, not any older then 4, were raising up their gold beads, with their momma's help. I just started sobbing. I couldn't help it!

You can learn more about the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention and why I chose to help them raise money, you can click their name above to visit their website. There are lots of great resources. 

If you or someone you know are in a mental health crisis, please go to the nearest emergency room or dial 911. 

If you can't do that call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text "TALK" TO 741741. Both are available 24/7 365 days a year. 

You are loved.

You aren't alone. 

Your story doesn't end here. 

; 

There is hope. 

Hold on. 

Update on the Fur-baby

On Sunday, we took Odin to the vet. He's been coughing (like he has phelm stuck in his throat) and had a snotty nose (just like a kid, I tell you!) He's also been acting like he can't see very well, but that had been off and on. Like one day he would act like he was blind, bumping into my leg, falling off the sidewalk when Natalie walked him, not grabbing the treat out of my hand like usual. Odd things like that. Then a couple days later he would be fine. 

Anyway, finally got him into the vet, we take the dogs to the Idaho Humane Society Veterinary clinic. They help us out with the pricing because we are low income. It helps. That's why we had the Sunday appointment, they have a walk-in clinic on the weekends. We missed our chance on Saturday because we showed up too late, so we weren't taking chances on Sunday and got there at 9 am, only an hour after they opened. They got us in quite quickly considering the full waiting room.

I will spare you the details of that zoo. In the room, the doctor had us unleash him so that he could see him walk around, watch the way that he walked and interacted with his environment. It was painfully obvious that something wasn't right. He put him on the table and looked at his eyes, not cloudy or showing obvious signs of cataracts or anything like that, so he went to get his light and eye looker thingy. He took long looks into his eyes and determined that Odin likely has 90-95% vision loss. There is some vision, but not a lot. He called the reason for the loss "retinal displacement" and said it was probably gradual and that he got used to not being able to see so well and just adapted to it. Which is also why we didn't notice until it got to be almost total blindness. There are options, but none of them great. What the vet recommended was just to learn how to live with it, how to adapt to his disability and help to give him his best life. We can do that. 

The other concern, his doggie cold, is all upper respiratory (thank God!) so we were given a lovely 10 day prescription for antibiotics to be given twice daily. To say that Odin isn't a pill taker is an understatement. It has been a struggle but only a few days left! Hoping that this round of antibiotics will take care of it and we won't have to go another round. I am already done and we only started Sunday! 

As we do at every vet visit, we discussed his weight. At his last check, he was 13 pounds, a healthy weight for his size. At this visit he was 20. Not so healthy. Apparently they put recommendations for portions on dog food bags not for health but to sell you dog food. So, now he is getting FAR less food and hopefully he can loose some pounds since mom was feeding him about twice as much food as he needed daily. :( Freaking dog food companies suck! 

One other thing we think is that he is older then the seven years old that we thought he was... the vet agrees... not sure how old he is but we plan to give him an amazing life however long that is. 

14

Our birthday picture, 2019
14 years old

My McKayla, I cannot believe another year has flown by. Seems just yesterday we were celebrating you turning into a teenager and now you are your second year in. Mommy Frances is already talking about getting you your permit and I'm plugging my ears in the corner singing, pretending you aren't even close to old enough. In my eyes you are still that tiny little girl, struggling to keep up with your only slightly older "cousins." 

Yeah, this one! 

But you have grown, so much. I blinked and suddenly you are a woman. 

Mommy Frances sent me this picture after she dyed your hair (purple for your halloween costume) I didn't expect to love it so much. It made you look so much more grown up though. I'm going to admit it, I almost cried, seriously cried over your hair! 

Through the angst, you are starting to show us who you really are and blooming into a beautiful young woman. Your choices in friends seem to be great. I've loved all those I've met so far and though you don't seem terribly interested in boys in front of me, I know you see them. ;) I'm watching them and you!  You have a strong head on your shoulders and I know you will be smart about it. 

First day of 8th grade 

You have now heard the "birth day" grandma Lynn story enough to tell it yourself. You told it to Liv yesterday and again, almost made me cry. She can't remember her as much as you do. Please help me remind her -- that's how we keep her memory alive. She loved you so much and I know she is so proud of you. Sometimes when I look at you, she is looking right back at me. Seriously you have her eyes, just like me!

April 2019

Halloween costume 

too cool for pictures now

I am so grateful that your mommy Frances can still get great pictures of you. I mostly get your eye rolls. Still love you though. Will be praying for another wonderful year. Hope that 14 is as amazing as the first 13 have been. I love you forever my first born miracle. 

Stop the Comparisons

Today, something happened that really upset me. I was trying to help (it is something I do) and I admitted to that person that I was really struggling. That person in turn, lashed out showing me all the ways my struggles were nothing compared to what she was going through. She literally listed out how her life was harder then mine. How I had a support system. How I had a husband. How my ex was supportive.

I could sit here and list off the many things that she may not know about my life, things I have been 'hiding' in my Instagram perfect life. But you know what? Life isn't a freaking competition!!

You know what I did instead? I am so proud of this because it's something I wouldn't have done a month ago, I stopped my typing fingers when they wanted to snap back all that I was going through. Through my clenched jaw, I took deep breaths and closed my eyes and I prayed for her. I prayed that she find peace. Though I did type a reply, I did tell her not to compare her struggles to mine, that she had NO idea about. And I did "snooze" seeing her profile for 30 days (something I highly suggest if you are having trouble on social media) and I archived the messages because I don't need to see that anymore. Then I came here. To write it out. Hopefully to ease the weight on my soul a little.

I will be completely honest, I don't have it all together. I am struggling a lot right now and to have someone say that my life is easier to theirs and list all the ways that my life is easier, it made my heart hurt. I wanted to shoot back and message and show her all the flaws in her logic. My heart is still hurting, a lot. My life is a complete mess right now. It doesn't help that I decided that my medication wasn't a top priority in my budget this past week (working on it!) but things will get better. I am working on praying through things. That is going to help, I just need people to lift me up in prayer. How about rather then telling me about how my life is "better" then yours, you tell me you will pray for me too?? How about you see me in my struggle too??

The End of a Chapter

On Sunday, September 29 our church family held our last service at The Salvation Army Marian Pritchett School campus on Bella and 24th.

We have a beautiful new building awaiting us

but for many, it was a bittersweet time of worship. This building has been in use since October 1921. First as a "maternal hospital for unwed mothers." You can learn more about the building itself here. We as a church family have been worshiping here for three(ish) years while waiting for our new building to be complete. During those years we have been squished in with the students and sharing their space. Our chapel "only" seats 50 and while those have been sufficient for now, we are praying for new people to find us in our new location.

Here are a few things we did to say goodbye to our old home.

During the service, we were all invited to share testimonies of how God had worked in our lives, through the time we were at the church or in general. Then, after testimony time, we had a chance to write things we thanked God for. I loved that our kiddos got involved and that they were paying attention and understood what they were doing.

After that, Major Michael spoke about building an memorial to thank God for his goodness, wrote on stones and literally built a memorial with the prayers of thankfulness and of things that we were praying for our new building on the alter in our old building. It was quite beautiful.

I can't help but just laugh. I hope some way is found to put this memorial in the new church, at least for a time...

and yes, Natalie picked the biggest rock there was and yes, she signed her name... that's just who she is.

To end the day, we took a group photo of everyone who came (except a one or two who might have escaped before we took this... you know who you are!)

Our Church Family 

Sunday, September 27, 2019 

and the traditional "funny one"