Thankful Tuesday

Tuesday is the day we say thanks. 

The more we express our gratitude, the more grateful we become.

1. I am thankful for a fun birthday with Alivia. I had to spend the morning working, but after work Stephen and I were able to take her to lunch at Pizza Pie Café and then to Barnes and Noble. I love that this kid is as into reading as I am. 

Picture with the birthday girl

Her monster from Pizza Pie Café 

Digging in! 

2. I am thankful for the surprise we got on Sunday morning. Though I am not happy with the SNOW in April, we do need the moisture around here.

3. I am thankful that Jinx is starting to get used to us being around and being around us. He is wanting to spend more time sitting with me on the couch. 

4. I am thankful that Stephen is feeling more balanced. While I don't love that it requires inpatient care, I appreciate that he can recognize that he needs a higher level of care then we can give at home. 

5. I am thankful for soup. This weather has been back into winter weather foods. =) 

Good News!

Linking up again this week with Mama Kat for writer's workshop. If you are interested in learning more, click the box at the bottom of this post. 

The prompt I chose this week: Share some good news!

My good news for today is that McKayla finally made a decision about her future. 

For two years now, she has been struggling with feeling comfortable and safe at school. She has anxiety and it is manifesting in physical symptoms. As a result, she's missed a lot of school and the more school she misses, the further behind she gets. The further behind she gets, the more anxious. It is a terrible cycle. 

We have her in counseling and have been regularly seeing her doctor about medication and such. She was just going to school when she can, trying to do work from home, ect. Not very successfully. 

Since both Jimmy and I could see that the traditional school setting isn't working for her, we have been discussing other "non-traditional" options for school. Finally yesterday she decided that she will be perusing her GED. 

Today I purchased two of the workbooks that will help her get ready for the testing. 

The decision was a big one, and one that I wanted her to come to on her own. She can take ownership of her life this way. While having her "drop out" of school isn't what I would have liked for her, this is the best decision for her. 

This is all good news in my book! 

Some more good news: Stephen has a new psychiatrist and we both love her! His previous psych went into another position, so he couldn't stay with him. The change was required, but not something he was happy about. After meeting with her twice now, he's happy with her. Since having a good relationship with your psychiatrist is so important, this is a win in my book! 

Yet some more good news: Jinx is fitting into our household quite nicely. He's quickly learning words and how to best get attention. Three weeks home now and I couldn't be happier with our baby. <3 

This post inspired by: 

Greeting: An Update

Write a story or poem that starts with the word “hello”.

If I'm being completely honest, the first thing that popped into my head was this: 

If you haven't watched Trolls yet, do it. It's on netflix and totally worth it. Stephen and I might have watched it one night the girls were with their dad. Since I have that out of the way, I will use this post to update my followers on how things are going at our house.

McKayla is doing well. She is going into sixth grade this year. It's her final year at our school which makes me a little bit sad. While she is still quite small for her age, she is starting to develop. That scares the crap out of me! I am so not ready for puberty, but I have a distinct feeling that it's too late. This child has enough pre-teen angst to fill the house and she is only one of three. Her favorite thing right now is playing on her tablet. If we won't let her do that, she is outside. We got a membership to the pool this summer and we have been spending a lot of time in the water. She loves it.

Natalie is also doing well. This is her last week of summer school. Not all that sure what they are doing at school. When I ask, she tells me about art projects and lunch. Those are the important things in her world. Nattie bug is a total girly girl when it comes to clothes. She wants to make sure that she is spot on with her style. Hair done, cute shirt and of course "the perfect shoes!" We have been reading Pheobe and her Unicorn at night, we both laugh at the antics of this girl and her bff, a unicorn. We are looking toward fourth grade this year. All her interventions are in place for this school year and we have a familiar teacher. That makes things a lot less stressful for this momma. During her free time, Natalie loves watching random youtube videos and also playing minecraft or roadblox. When we say no to electronics, she is outside with a notebook and pen drawing and writing things down.

Alivia is not doing so hot. She has strep throat, again. We just got a referral from her doctor to see an ear, nose and throat doctor. At that visit we will discuss if it is necessary for her to have her tonsils out. To say that I am a bit stressed about that is a major understatement. Thinking about her having surgery, however minor, is terrifying me. Aside from that, she is doing good. She is looking forward to third grade. This year she will be in the 2nd-3rd grade combo class again, with the same teacher. This time she is the older class, so that will be interesting. I know that last year went amazing and she did fantastic. Cannot wait to see what this year brings us. Liv is quite the sensitive child and uses that to her advantage, sometimes she cries on purpose because she knows it gets to me.

My dear husband is working toward getting a degree in computer sciences. He starts at College of Western Idaho next month. Keep him in your thoughts and prayers as he is quite anxious about this. Things with his mental health are stable. We are all working to learn the tools that will help him out on a daily basis. There have been a lot of appointments with the counselor, psychiatrist and such. He also meets regularly with our pastor for some Christ based counseling. Most days we both feel pretty well about life. Though things are still a bit of a struggle, mental health always will be.

That's what is going on at our house. Leave me a comment and tell me something exciting going on at yours!

Outside my Window

Writing is something I love to do. It is something I haven't been doing a lot of. This challenge is a way for me to stretch those writing muscles a bit and see if I can't get back in to my writing groove. I am using these writing prompt from Think Written. I figure having one for each day should help me keep on task.

What’s the weather outside your window doing right now? If that’s not inspiring, what’s the weather like somewhere you wish you could be?

Outside my window it is hot and sunny. Seems like every day this summer has been hot and sunny. 

Not that I complain, I love the sun and heat.  

My poor husband is another story entirely. He is a native Oregonian and is more excited about rainy days. Watching how much he suffers in the heat, makes me feel guilty. I am the reason he moved here and he puts up with the heat for me. 

When I look out that window and see the hot, hot sun, I am reminded of the love my husband has for me and my girls. He is more then willing to suffer the heat just to keep us where we have our roots. The fact that he was willing to do that means more then he will possibly know (unless he reads this of course!) 

Outside my window I see the sun but I also see the love my husband has for us. 

Thankful Tuesday

This week I am thankful for:

1. My handy husband who made the girls' room more comfortable and roomy for them. He converted our existing wooden bunk bed into a loft bed. Now they have more floor space to play.
   
2. Our health. For the first time in a long while we have been all mostly healthy. 
3. Our church family. They are all so wonderful in understanding when things happen. Multiple people checked in on us to make sure everything was okay when we had to leave early from church. 
4. Fair weather. Especially watching the weather from around the country. 
5. Signs of spring. I love this time of year when nature starts waking up from it's winter nap. I love the sunshine and the birds chirping and the flowers budding. Just love this season! 

Updates

Good afternoon readers. I thought it would be a good idea for me to hop on here and write out what's been going on in my life. There has been some "radio silence" on the blog lately and for that I'm sorry. Life gets busy though and lately I haven't been in the mood to write.

Today though, I am forcing myself to write. I have zero excuses. There is a quiet room, my computer and a cold soda. What else could I ask for? So, here are updates on each of our family members.

Stephen - since his hospitalization we have found a different psychiatrist. She is tweaking his medications a bit to try and maximize the benefits of a few of them and maybe discontinue some of the others. Apparently he was on lower doses of lots of medications that can do the same things. So far she seems to be a good fit for him and I think they will get things straightened out for him. The other bit of news on the health front is that he was diagnosed with sleep apnea. Hopefully soon he will be seeing a sleep medicine specialist and they will determine what needs to be done to help him get the right sleep. This could mean he uses a cpap, but we really aren't sure. I am just praying for it to be soon because sleep can really aggravate all the other problems he has. One last thing to update you on for Stephen. When he went in the hospital, he was dropped from his program at school. Since the school will be closing, there was no way for him to make it up and get back in. Thankfully, he was able (all on his own!) to find another school that took most of the credits and he is now enrolled in a bachelor's degree program in computer sciences. He hopes to get a job as a network architect, building and maintaining networks for businesses.

McKayla has got an attitude to rival a teenager already. Her feelings get hurt quite easy (like her momma) and she is quick to tears. But as fast as they come on, they are gone. McKayla seems to have lots of friends at school. There is always a story or two about one kid or another. You can read more about how she is doing at school here, in my post about the parent teacher conferences. In her free time, M's favorite thing is her tablet. They watch a lot of "funny youtube" videos and play roadblox. Keeps them busy and warm inside when the weather is cruddy.

Natalie is slowly warming up to reading. She still doesn't love it, but if it is the right book, she will read. This morning, Alivia was reading to her, see:

So stinking cute! Plus, it helps them both. Being read to and reading both help with those skills. Mr Odin couldn't help but listen! Natalie loves writing stories. Give her a pen and paper or a blank word document and she will fill the page. I loved helping her with her Thanksgiving break homework. She got to write about what she did each day. For most of the days I was able to help with the spelling and make sure it made sense, but the last day we missed it. Here is what she wrote for the week, just for memory's sake:

Day 1. I ate my favorite dinner chicken alfredo. I love chicken alfredo. I read a book. 

Day 2. We had to get wywy (her brother) from school. After we get wywy, we got in the car. We had to go to Utah. It is five hours got there. When we got there we had to go to bed I slept with Clara and Tiffany. 

Day 3. On thanksgiving we ate turkey with Auntie Amanda. I love her turkey. I love her jello, it has whip-cream. Then we got pie after we watched finding dory. 

Day 4. We had to go home. When we were going home I got sick. We got to my mom`s work and I got to color. I got to draw a cat. I love it. I sat on the couch all day. We invited Kaya and her sister Cali and we watched two movies. 

Day 5. We got to go to kaya`s house we ate pizza. We ate cake and ice-cream. 

Day 6. (The day I didn't help with, "edits" are in (parenthesis)) I had a dinner i did not like. it is btaetoses coockt carits and coockt selrey (potatoes, cooked carrots and cooked celery). I had suthing i like stack (???). Kaya and Cali came ofer (over) we played a game.

 Alivia is a child after my own heart right now. She is reading so much and I love it! So glad to have at least one kid to share my love of reading with. Alivia also loves to play her tablet and draw all kinds of pictures. She has lots of friends at school and we get to hear all about them as well. I have been told that even at church she is like a mother hen, making sure all the kids are staying safe and following the rules.

That's about all the updates I have for today. Hopefully I can get my writing mojo back and this blog will be normal again.

Stephen's Story

As many of you know, my husband recently admitted himself into a hospital for a mental health treatment. He was no longer able to manage his mental illnesses on an outpatient basis. You can read more about it here. In fact, his hospitalization was the basis for many of my October posts. If you are interested, you can read my other posts on mental health here. 

Well, what I haven't talked about much is what has happened since the hospitalization. Due to circumstances beyond our control, Stephen was un-enrolled from his program. Since then, he found another program to enroll in. He will be in a 30 month program and will end it with a bachelors degree in computer sciences and networking. Finding the program was a blessing in itself.

Anyway, long story short, he is back in school. For one of his first classes, he had to write a paper about something he overcame. Bravely, he chose to talk about his stay at the hospital. He also agreed to let me share that story here. If it can help even one person realize they aren't alone, it is worth sharing.

Let’s get real for a moment. Have you ever had an anxiety attack? It goes something like this: You struggle to breathe, your blood starts to burn and it feels like someone is sitting on your chest. You can’t think straight and you think you are going to die. This is just one of my diagnoses that I live with daily. I struggle with anxiety and depression along with being bi-polar. Life has always been rough for me and in October 2016, things took a turn for the worse. 

On the morning of October 4th, I woke up to very dark thoughts and emotions. I had this want and desire to get into my car, drive down the freeway at a high speed and crash my car into a barrier or wall. I wanted to die, I did not care how I did it but I did not want to live anymore. I scared myself with these thoughts, I have never had planned anything out before. I knew I needed help but I didn’t know how or what to do.

I found myself in a horrible situation, it was like one of my nightmares coming to life. The first thing I thought to do was to call my doctor. Since they didn't answer I called my wife. She told to go to urgent care. There, the doctors told me that it was in my best interest to seek further professional help by admitting myself into an inpatient mental health hospital. At rock bottom, I had no choice, my wife took me to the hospital.

In-patient care was difficult for me to adjust to. There were people from all walks of life. To be frank, I was worried for my safety at times. On my first day, I saw four doctors and was forced to participate in group activities. This was the place I wanted to be to get better but at the time it felt like Hell on earth. I just wanted to be at home with my wife and dog. I knew that I had to give myself to my treatment to better myself so I can leave.

To overcome my anxiety and depression my doctors started to adjust my medications. They increased some, lowered some and removed others. Within two days I was on the mend. Group sessions were helping and the doctors finally gave me the approval needed to go home. It was because of my work with my doctors that I was able to make this improvement. I would not be here today if it was not for my desire for a change. I am especially thankful for the support of my wife, my church family and faith that helped me get through this time. I have been given a second chance and I plan on making the best of it.

This has been the biggest and hardest change in my life by far. I knew my depression was bad but I had no idea that it would lead to this situation, this traumatizing event that I had to overcome. In my stay at the hospital, I learned that I had to give more of myself if I was going to manage my conditions. 

Before my hospitalization, I was just using medications to help manage my mood. After my stay, I knew it was time to go all in. I sought counseling, found a new psychologist and asked my wife to help me manage my medications at home. Only because of  my conscious decision and the changes I put in place, can I sit before you today and share my story.  

I feel that in the last month I have become a new person. Don’t get me wrong I still carry the weight of my scars but overall I have a better understanding of what it means to be bi-polar, have depression, suffer from anxiety and have been suicidal.  

If I share my story, maybe I can help someone who is struggling. If you are that person, know that you are not alone. No one is alone even though it might feel that way sometimes. Remember, we are stronger than we think and there is nothing that we can’t overcome.

I don't think I can end with any better words then that other then giving you just a bit of information. If you or someone you know is dealing with thoughts of suicide, please seek help. I found this information with a quick google search:

National Suicide Hotline

Text our trained crisis counselors about anything that is on your mind. 

Text "Go" to 741741. 

It is free, available 24/7 and confidential. 

WW: My 10 Favorite Things About...

Linking up with Mama Kat again this week for writers workshop. If you want to learn more about it, click the link at the bottom of this post. The prompt I chose this week is: List ten favorite things about one of your favorite people.

I think one of my most favorite people is my hubby. Here are ten of my favorite things about my favorite man:

1. I love how good he is with my girls. He really is a bonus dad to them.
2. I love how passionate he is about the things he loves.
3. I love how hard he is working to get a good education. I love it even more that he is learning to do something in a field that he loves.
4. I love that he does those little things to show me he loves me.
5. I love that he was there for me when I lost my mom. He never rushed me, never asked if I was okay, he was simply there, just what I needed him to be.
6. I love that he sends me random pictures on facebook that he knows will make me laugh.
7. I love how he takes care of me when I am sick or even when I just have a headache.
8. I love how supportive he is of my Jamberry and also how supportive he is about my job.
9. I love his cooking.
10. I love how he will sit there and listen to me complain. He doesn't try and offer me solutions, he just listens, which is just what I need.

There is another prompt that I really wanted to write about, so I am going to do two this week! Share a story about a sleepwalker. I am personally a sleepwalker. More when I was younger, but still. I have two stories about sleepwalking. Both happened when I was a camper at church camp.

The first time, there was a small earthquake. Somehow during the shake, I managed to get out of my bed, underneath and behind the suitcases that were under the bed. My counselor was so worried when she couldn't find me. Thankfully, they were able to find me before a full camp search happened, but it was a worrisome time for that poor counselor.

The other time was more sleep walking then hiding. I was at camp, on the second floor of one of the cabins. I managed to get up and walk out the back door. While on the back porch (right before the 20-ish stone steps to get to ground level) my counselor found me. She was able to steer me back to bed and away from the obvious injury that would have happened had I sleep-ventured down those steps.

This post inspired by:

Updates!

This last week got away from me and before I knew it,  it was over! I thought it would be as good a time as any to write an update on our little family. 

Stephen starts one of his computer classes today.  He is pretty excited.  So far he is doing wonderfully in school and by the end of next summer he will have an associates degree in information technology. He is getting great grades and just started a work study at the school that he also loves. Plus it's bringing us some extra income so that's wonderful. 

I am also doing well.  Migraines are mostly under control,  so that is huge for me.  My doctor started me on a new medication in December that worked great but late last month my blood pressure ended up dropping too low.  Now I am on just the one medication,  but the blood pressure is stable and the headaches are stable. 

McKayla is doing well.  She is starting to be a really big helper around  the house. Stephen just taught her how to do laundry so she wants to help with that now.  She mostly dies her homework and reading without complaint,  but we still have our days.  She is doing fairly well in school too.  Still getting extra help in reading and math but it is almost all in the classroom so that's wonderful. 

Natalie seems to be doing well with her accommodations and special ed classes.  She had gotten two 100% spelling tests home this month and seems to be getting back to her joy in school.  She also still has her mornings where she wants to stay home. (Don't we all? !) I wish I could say she is as helpful as m at home,  but she is starting to be more willing to do things she wouldn't before. 

Alivia is growing too fast.  I have gotten more comments about that then anything right now.  She is doing really well in school.  I love listening to her reading.  Makes this mommy's heart happy. One thing that made me almost cry for her last week though. She was watching pokemon with her sisters.  There was this episode where Ashe is trying to leave Pikachu behind with the others of his kind. Alivia was so sad she was crying about it.  Love knowing she has heart. 

Odin is great too. He is such a great addition to our family. 

There you have them, updates all around. 

Wordless Wednesday

Please ignore the basket of laundry waiting to be folded. And I hope my husband doesn't kick me for this one, but this is him and our sweet doggy Odin. They almost look like they are making the same face!

What's Happening Wednesday

Since I am starting to review more books, I figured I needed a new time/place to talk about what's going on in our neck of the woods. Today is that day. First a picture:

Our little Mister is fitting in quite nicely. He cuddled up with the girls for our nightly reading time. Right now we are reading the BFG. All the kiddos (Odin included) enjoy it very much!

Now, on to the updates. We will start with me, since I am the oldest! Things with me are about normal. I already mentioned that I have started getting novels from publishers to review before they are released. Loving that so far. I have both an eye doctor and a dental appointment today. Kind of hoping that maybe the eye doctor can find the reason for my frequent headaches. We will see.

Stephen is doing okay. Still having lots of issues with his anxiety but seems to be showing some improvement, at least from my point of view. Regular appointments with a counselor, and today a psychiatrist to manage his medications, I feel like we are on the right track. He has been working on getting his Idaho license (DONE!) and then his commercial drivers permit. He passed one of the four tests he needs for that so prayers he passes the other three on Thursday when he re-tests. Aside from that he is working on training Mr Odin and keeping the girls occupied when we have them. He is a busy guy, despite not working right now!

McKayla is turning into a pre-teen faster then I want her to. Not necessarily in her size but most definitely in her attitude. For example, Monday night she cried for at least a half hour that she didn't like her dinner, didn't want to eat that but still wanted dessert. I stuck to my guns and told her if she didn't eat her dinner she wouldn't have dessert. It was obvious I wasn't budging so she finally ate and got her candy for dessert. Hopefully if we just keep doing what we are doing, she will learn that we aren't going to be her personal caterers. She is pretty excited for fourth grade and has been counting down days until she gets to go back to school.

Natalie is finally starting to eat better. The dinner that McKayla whined about, Natalie scarfed down. She even had two servings! In this family, that is impressive for any meal except pizza and mac and cheese. We are working really hard on helping Natalie gain some confidence in her reading and writing skills. I am praying that this school year is better for her. Class lists will be posted soon. Natalie has quickly gotten taller then McKayla (which she hates!) and I can't believe what a beautiful girl she is becoming. With the way she likes her boys, I am more then a little worried.

Then there is Miss Alivia. I can't believe how much she has grown in the past few months. Feels like just yesterday we moved here and she was still taking naps. Suddenly she is this kid with her own opinions and thoughts and she expresses them! We have been dealing with some baby talk from her, which drives me batty, but I think we are slowly getting rid of that. I basically ignore her if she isn't talking like a big girl. Liv is beyond excited for first grade and is already talking about who she hopes is in her class. I'm not so excited for my baby to be at school all day, but I am resigned to the fact that it's happening.

I guess Odin is the baby now! We are training him slowly on our own until we can afford to take the petco classes that we want to. He can sit really well, is learning to lay down and we are buying a "clicker" to help with his "heel" command. There has been a little bit of trouble with the girls wanting to command him when Stephen and I are working with him, but they are slowly learning.

That's what I have for updates. Anything new with my loyal readers?


1000 Gifts: 3 gifts half-hidden

• it is a gift to have a cherry tomato plant with the ripe little pear tomatoes hiding in the leafs, ready for me to pick and enjoy. 
• it is a gift to have scriptures that were half hidden, revealed to me through a message at church. 
• it is a gift to have children's feet, half hidden because they are covered in dirt. A sure sign that my girls have been having fun! 

The Semicolon Project

This week has been hard. Harder then almost anything I have ever been through.

Most people don't know, my husband suffers from PTSD, anxiety and depression. I also struggle with anxiety and depression. With his permission I am sharing part of our struggle with you.

It's so hard to know how much someone is suffering when they have an illness like this. Unlike some medical problems, there aren't usually any outside signs of mental illness. People can't tell you are suffering at all.

My husband had a severe anxiety attack on Saturday that made him unable to even leave the house for work. Right now he is on a medical leave of absence, but at this point we aren't sure of his return to work.

The struggle with mental illness is HARD! Some days it feels like you are being tossed around in an ocean. You can't tell which way is up or which way is down. You aren't even sure if you are going to make it through. If you are struggling today, GET HELP!

Mental illness very rarely "cures itself." Stephen is currently in counseling and working with a psychiatrist on getting the right combination of medications. We started the process with his primary care doctor and what he had Stephen on worked really well, for awhile. But when it became obvious that it wasn't a long-term solution, he referred us to someone more specialized.

While in the midst of this struggle, I did a LOT of research on PTSD and what could help. For those who don't know me, I am a "fixer" and it's been killing me that I can't fix Stephen. This is probably going to be a lifelong ailment. Anyway, while I was in research mode, I found this article and one particular part jumped right off the screen at me:

The results of Animal Assisted Therapy in the treatment of PTSD patients has seen significant results. In one study of the effect of dogs with patients, psychologists noted an 82% reduction in symptoms.

Eighty-two percent!? That was worth doing the paperwork to get him one. We talked to his doctor who agreed to write us a note to get one, then we had to talk to our property managers. Thankfully as part of the fair housing act, they have to make reasonable accommodations for those with disabilities. In this case, we were able to get him a dog in a "no pets" home.

The best part, any dog will work, no special training involved. I shared a picture on Wednesday of Odin, Stephen's new emotional support animal. We are hoping to get him really well trained and possibly do some service training so he can help Stephen during his panic attacks or maybe help him stop them before they start.

Here is another great article about dogs and PTSD treatment: Why Dogs Heal PTSD

Anyway, this post wasn't supposed to be entirely about our struggle, I also wanted to share about Project Semicolon. I stumbled across this, I don't even know how, but it just struck me.

From a google image search for semicolon tattoo

A semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life. On April 16, 2013, thousands of people joined us to raise public awareness against depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide.

How amazing is that? It all started with one girl wanting to honor her dad's memory, he had committed suicide. In reading the Project Seimicolon blog, I found Brandi's personal blog. I have just been doing a bit of reading and it is powerful. She has been through so much but actively makes the decision each day to live.

Stephen and I both have decided where we plan to tattoo our semicolons. We want to use them as a talking point to share how hard this is with others. You don't have to put the period on your life. Don't end it when you have so much more to write. Instead, use a semicolon and make it just a pause in your story.

1000 Gifts: 3 gifts of sand

• it is a gift to have our beautiful sand jar. It is a symbol of not only our commitment to each other, but for our commitment to the kids. Our family will be as hard to separate as the five colors of sand in the jar. 
• it is a gift to have gifts of sand from friends from a few different locations. Amazing to see how different they are. 
• it is a gift to have sand as a reminder of God's promises to us. He knows how many grains of sand there are and how many hairs on my head. 

Happy Birthday!

to my amazing husband Stephen. I cannot imagine my life without you. You have been such a blessing to me this year and I am praying that God richly blesses you in the coming year.

I had to spend today working but Stephen and I were able to share lunch then after work we went to Hastings (his favorite store) got him the next book in his series. I also got to surprise him with a Loot Crate subscription. He was beyond happy.


1000 Gifts: a gift of peace, of hope, of love

• it is a gift to have peace in our city. I can't imagine being in a place where there is such turmoil.
• it is a gift to have a hope for my future. Someday I will be in heaven with Jesus (and mommy!) until then, I need to make the most of what God has given me. 
• it is a gift to be so loved. Stephen has showed me what real love is.  

Thankful Tuesday

Since yesterday was Memorial day, I feel it only fitting that the first thing I should list about being thankful for is the service men and women who have given their lives to keep our lives the way they are. This truly is the land of the free because of the brave. 

I am thankful that Jimmy and I are able to cooperatively parent the girls. This is what is best for them. It is also very good for them to have not only two people who love them but also two other step-parents who love and want what is best for them. 

I am thankful for antibiotics. Poor Stephen has a sinus infection. We took him in on Saturday to the urgent care and his was given antibiotics. Now we just wait for them to work. 

I am thankful that I seem to have caught a renewed sense of change in my life. Today starts a new day and I am working to make myself a healthier person. My short-term goal is ten minutes of walking per day and counting all my calorie intake. Hopefully I can get back on the weight loss wagon soon. 

I am thankful for my handy husband. This weekend, despite being sick, he helped me fix our bed, replacing the flimsy bed supports with some stronger ones. 

What are you thankful for this week?


1000 Gifts: Hard giving thanks for

• it is hard to give thanks for my girls being gone, but I am grateful they are with their dad and I know they are loved and safe with him. 
• it is hard to give thanks for the rain, but it is so needed right now. 
• it is hard to give thanks for the loss of my mom, but I know that she is in a better place and that someday we will meet again. 

Wordless Wednesday

A big thank you to my aunt Lesa for the slippers for us girls and a hat for the boy. We all love them!!

1000 Gifts: 3 gifts were were “plan b’s” 

• It is a gift to have Alivia. She was never part of our "plan" but I cannot imagine my life without her! 
• It is a gift that I was able to go back to school. I never had plans to go, but I am so glad I did! 
• It is a gift being in Boise still. If it were my choice, I might have never left Lebanon, but I have been beyond blessed since moving here. 

Thankful Tuesday

We sang the song this Sunday, "Count Your Blessings" and it was another reminder. When I do this, it makes me feel better about my life. I want to look at the glass and always see it half full. Here are five things I am thankful for this week.

1. I am thankful for tax season. I was worried with my  new business but it turned out okay. =) 
2. I am thankful for my health. My poor husband now has pneumonia. He had the flu the first part of the month. I feel bad for him :( 
3. I am thankful for my best friend. It may be awhile between chats but it's always like we never spent a day apart. 
4. I am thankful for simple things that make my girls happy. Like getting a new $2 toy. It totally made their night. 
5. I am thankful that my fingers are a tapping advertisement for my business. Gave away four cards today. Fingers crossed that I get a customer! 

1000 gifts: 3 gifts found in writing

• It is a gift to have a multitude of books I can get lost in when I need time away from the real world. 
• It's a gift to be able to read my old writing and see how far I've come. 
• It is a gift to watch my girls learn to love writing and see them grow.

Thankful Tuesday

As some of you know, I have been sick the last few days. Sicker then I've been in a long time. Needless to say, gives me a few more things to add to my thankful list.

1. I am thankful for paid time off so I don't have to worry about my budget while trying to get healthy.
2. I am thankful for my husband who took care of things while I couldn't get off the couch. 
3. I am thankful that my husband was willing to help me clean up after Liv caught my bug. Not fun for a mom who is sick, even less fun for a man who just stepped into fatherhood two months ago. 
4. I am thankful for amazing coworkers who have been nothing but nice to me, even though I am leaving them short. 
5. I am thankful for an understanding supervisor who never gives me a hard time about calling in. I was in a position before where it felt like I had to go to work, sick or not. 

1000 Gifts: three gifts in the kitchen

• It is a gift to have a husband who is handy in the kitchen. 
• It is a gift to have a working dishwasher. 
• It is a gift to have a pantry that has lots of choices. I may not want to cook, but I have food to do so. More then some people can say. 

Wordless Wednesday

My love holding all four of our pets. He loves them!

1000 Gifts: three gifts anticipated

• It is a gift to be able to anticipate an extra day off. This week I've been on the phones and its been pretty busy. Makes me feel more tired then normal. 
• It is a gift to be able to anticipate going home after work. I love going home to Stephen and my girls. 
• It is a gift to be able to anticipate paid vacation. My paid time off is slowly growing again and I can't wait for our next trip to Oregon. 

Updates & 1000 Gifts

Yet again, it's been awhile since my last update (click the link to read the last one). And yet again, lots is going on! Here is just a small update of what our family has been up to. As you can see I updated the cover photo for the season. Sorry the pic is a bit grainy, but it was the best I could do with my oh-so-cooperative models. Anyway, it's updated no less. Here is the full size pic (had to be cropped a bit for the header.

Christmas 2014

Before I start, I want to let you know, this post is full of links to other posts. Anytime there is an underlined word (might be blue) it is a link to a previous post. Clicking that word will take you to the other post. =) 

Last time I updated it was just before the wedding, since then, we did get married. In my personal opinion (however biased that might be!) it was beautiful. I loved how the colors came together. Loved that it was intimate and just suited us! I have posted a few pictures (here and here) and more on my facebook but it was just wonderful. Honestly, can't think of anything I would have changed. It was so amazing to be surrounded by our friends and family. We have also since had our family blending ceremony which also went wonderfully. There wasn't a great turnout of people there, but it was okay. We loved how it went. The girls were very involved and felt comfortable with everything. I posted a picture of the sand here. Besides the wedding I have been doing pretty well. My grandmother had a pretty serious fall and is in the ICU, but she has stabilized. She's not going to be too happy though, this fall makes it impossible for her to live independently. Keep her in your prayers if you wouldn't mind, her name is Carolyn. 

Now I have a new person to update on and that is my wonderful husband Stephen!! He moved here to be with us, we drove back after the wedding. Things seem to be settling quite nicely in the house. We were able to purchase a few things with gift cards to make the house a bit more comfortable for all of us. It's a small one but we are making it work. When he moved, he had to find a new job. We had a lead on one, he interviewed for it and got the position but something felt "off" about it. Eventually we decided that it wasn't the right fit for our family (it would have been an overnight position.) I honestly believe that God is caring for our family because the day before he called to decline job one, he got a call from another assisted living facility for an interview. The day he declined job one he had an interview with job two. He was the only person (of eight interviewees) who showed up for the group interview. They offered him the job basically right away and he started this last Monday. So far he is enjoying it, even though it is a little different then his last job. The hours are 6:30 am - 2:30 pm which works out just perfectly for our family. God provides! 

McKayla is doing really well. She has a stubborn streak and an attitude, but we are working on it. We are working together to make sure she understands that the rules for Stephen aren't any different then the rules for mom. Her and her sisters have been trying things with Stephen that they know wouldn't fly with mom. I had to explain to him my mom's box theory. Every child has a box. When a new person is introduced into their lives (or anytime they feel like it really) they test the limits of the box. They want to make sure it's still there and they only way they can do it is to do things they wouldn't normally do, that they know aren't okay, to make sure mom or whoever is going to tell them now. We just have to work extra hard on being on the same page and working as a team. No real other issues with her. She is just growing and turning into a young lady right in front of me!

Natalie on the other hand, not dealing with all the change so well. She has been having some pretty serious emotional breakdowns. I will give you a good example: the other night I told her to go in her room and get her pj's on. She went in her room, grabbed her pjs and started putting them on in the living room. My drink was on the floor (in a lidded cup!) and she knocked it over. Just spilled a tiny bit and we weren't mad at her, just wanted to talk to her. She started inconsolably crying. Wouldn't even listen to us talking to her. We were just trying to explain that there are reasons we ask them to do things the way we do, this is why we wanted you to change in your room. I was beyond annoyed. I know she's been through a rough year though, so I'm trying to give her some grace. I have also scheduled her an appointment with a counselor so she can talk about things. Hopefully we can come to an understanding of how to handle her best. We are also slowly working on things for school. Her papers are starting to look a little better coming home, so that's encouraging. Keep Natalie in your prayers. She seems to be having the toughest time with all the changes.

Then there is my Alivia. Sweet little Liv who isn't so little anymore. She is slowly gaining on her sisters in size. Only thing that's still much smaller is her feet. They are still so small! Alivia loves going to school and her after school program. She always seems to come home in a wonderful mood. Her favorite things to do are color and cut and make things for people. I am constantly finding scraps of this or that that she wants to give to someone. She also really loves to write. She asks me all the time how to "do" a letter she can't draw. I can already tell how much she has learned this year. I hope her love for learning and excitement about school continues. She's such fun to watch and be around. We have also gotten a few compliments from her Sunday school teacher about how attentive she is and how quickly she can understand things. I love the faith of a child that asks questions but has zero doubts about God. It's amazing.

So, that's us. Anything new with you?

1000 gifts: three gifts striped

• The wallet my girls got me, it's stripes of hearts, but they are still stripes. Makes me smile thinking of them every time I get it out. (see right) 
• Candy Canes. I love them and it's such fun to get them and share them with the kids (even if they do get sticky everywhere!) 
• The stars and stripes on our flag. They remind me every time I see or think about it how very blessed we are to live in a country where we are free.