Shaping Decision Making and Routines for Mental Health

 

Breathing Exercises

 

Managing Anxiety and Identifying Your Feelings

 

How to Help and/or Support A Loved One Struggling With Mental Health Problems

 

Mental Health Check In

 

Talk About Mental Health

 

Suicide Prevention Advice

 

The Self-Love Languages

 

FMF: Heal

I saw this writing prompt and knew it was one I would want to participate in. 

When you think of someone with an injury or an illness, many times you think of the healing process. How long will recovery take? What is needed to aide the healing process? 

For may people, there are illnesses in which there is no healing though. I suffer from depression. It is something I will never heal from. I will never not have depression. There are many days where I feel great and don't feel depressed. 

There are many invisible illnesses just like depression. You may not see how much someone is struggling from the outside, but that doesn't make their struggle any less. We may not be able to heal other people, but by being sympathetic to their illness, we can help them feel seen. When you acknowledge that someone else is struggling, it helps them have a voice. This blog has some great ideas on how to help someone with an invisible illness. Don't just tell them "if you need something, let me know." Because they won't. Its hard to know what you need let alone ask for it. 

People with invisible illness struggle, sometimes every day. Just remember, just because you can't see that they need healing, doesn't mean they don't. 

Healing isn't always a cure, sometimes it is just being seen. 

Feelings Circle

I saw this and thought immediately how helpful this would be. It is easier to name your feelings, if you can see the options. This is just some of the emotions that exist. 

 

The Gray Rock Method

 

My Stress Relievers

Linking up again this week with Mama Kat for writer's workshop. You can learn more by clicking the box at the bottom of this post. 

The first prompt I chose is: Tell us about 6 things that relieve your stress. Stress is something I don't deal with well, but here are six things I do to try to relieve my stress. 

1. Read a book to distract myself. If my "read" pile shows anything, it is that I am trying to escape! 
   
   
2. Hot shower. Something about it just melts away the tension in my neck and shoulders. 
   
   
3. Write. Anything really. I like to use paper and pen to get my frustrations out so many of my journals are scattered with rants about what is going on in my life. 
   
   
4. Take a walk. This only happens if the weather is okay. I don't like the cold and I don't like rain (most of the time), but being out in the air helps. 
   
   
5. Play with my Aaron's Thinking Putty. I have MANY containers, but I prefer the smaller ones (just enough for my hands to knead). I have two of those. 
   
   
6. Call my sister and complain. She is always willing to listen to my rants and afterward I feel much better, even though she never offers solutions (I don't want or ask for them). 

Those are my "top six" but I'm always looking for new ones. What do you do to destress? 

This post inspired by: 

Writer's Workshop

 Linking up again this week for writer's workshop. If you want to know more, click the box at the bottom of this post. 

The first prompt I chose this week (because I already had a post drafted for this exact topic!): Did you pick a Word Of The Year for 2022? Share!

I did pick a word for 2022 and that word is: 

Pause

Definition (thanks to google): a temporary stop in action or speech. 

In this case I want to focus on the action of "practicing the pause." What is "practicing the pause"?

 Well, another quick google search gave me this acronym to remember: 

S- Stop. Remember to pause.
T- Take a few breaths. This gives us time to notice the stimulus. 

O- Observe your present state without judging it.

    What are you feeling or thinking in this moment?

P- Proceed with awareness.

I also stumbled across a website with this awesome infographic (better then anything I could make!) 

Source 

and a website with some great ways to practice this technique: 19 Effective Ways to Practice the Pause. 

Second prompt I picked today (because I can!): Write about what you think your goals were 10 years ago. What has changed since then? Do you have the same goals?

Funny enough, I did post goals on this blog ten years ago. HERE are my goals from 2011. I am listing them as well, so I can tell you how I did and how they might differ from this years' goal. 

✅Complete the "Made to Crave" book study. I completed that one! Planning to do a re-read of this book because it was so amazing. 

🆇 Implement a family game/activity/movie night to do once a week. Yeah, not sure if this happened or not, but it sure isn't happening now. We do play games on occasion, but they are all teenagers now (or close enough). Things are harder when you can't just excite them into playing. 

🆇 Continue my workouts at Curves at least 3x per week. I have no idea how long this lasted, but I quit there for sure... 

✅Complete the 5 mile "Dirty Dash" in August. DONE! It was actually a 6 mile obstacle and mud run. Not the most fun for me, but an experience for sure. 

 

So, half of them were completed. I'm not sure if that is successful or not. My goals haven't change too much since then. I have mostly ones that will pull me through the year vs event type. I will share my 2022 goals later this week. 

 

This post inspired by: 

30 Days of Mental Health - Part VI

 This is the third installment of the 30 days of mental health. Feel free to reach out to me with any questions. 

• Difficult life experiences and events that happen in our childhood can sometimes have a lasting effect, causing many confusing feelings and unhealed emotional wounds. Understanding and acknowledging how adverse life experiences affect us increases our capacity to cope.
• There is a time and place to share your life experiences and thoughts. Knowing when and how much to share is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships with others, and it is part of protecting our wellbeing.
• Shame is an emotion that everyone experiences, but what does shame mean in the context of mental health? Defining and shedding light on ‘shame’ can help in reducing stigma. This can help children and youth to be more compassionate with themselves and with others who are coping with and healing from mental health challenges.
• Social media is something that lots of people use to connect with others and get information. While it connects us, it can also be a place of harm. From the constant feed of negative content, to envy of what others are posting, or the value placed on getting likes and followers, social media can have a negative impact on mental health and wellness.
• Social media is something that everyone uses; however, we often only hear about the problems of inappropriate or too much use. It is important to understand the benefits of social media for one’s mental health and ways to interact with social media in a healthy way.

Those last two are all about social media. You may not think that it is something that applies because your kids are too young, but think again. Check out some stats I found:

From 2015 - that was SIX years ago now! 

This one is from this year, not just kids

Something to think about

30 Days of Mental Health - Part V

continued

We have all experienced days when our thoughts about a particular situation really put us in a bad mood for a moment or even the whole day. We are better able to manage these times by understanding how thoughts, feelings, and behaviors work together to influence each other and how by changing one, a positive impact can be had on the others.

• Self-talk is the inner dialogue that we have with ourselves all day long. It can happen while working on a task or even while having a conversation. Self talk is tied to our sense of self and can be helpful, harmful, or neutral.
• Negative self-talk can result from intrusive thoughts that often occur without much effort. It is important to understand where negative self-talk comes from and why combating negative self-talk is key to creating overall mental wellness.
• When self-talk is positive, it helps us feel good about ourselves because it allows us to change our perspective toward different situations and give ourselves more compassion and grace when things are not going well. Learning ways to increase positive self-talk is a step toward improving overall well-being.
• Worrying about life’s daily stressors can affect our behaviors, feelings and thoughts which in turn can cause our minds to feel like a car on a race track—worrying about past or future events. Mindfulness is a calming practice that encourages focus on the present moment.

This graphic has been helpful for me. I tend to "what if" things to death. Since seeing this graphic (thanks to @CrazyHeadComics) I have been working on reframing my thinking a little. It is a process and will take lots of work and retraining my brain.

30 Days of Mental Health - Part IV

Continued

It is important to understand the differences between attempted suicide, thinking about suicide, and self-harm. Educating youth about all three is critical to intervening and reducing the likelihood that they may occur.

• Understanding the signs and symptoms of mental health deterioration helps with recognizing when one should access services or lean on trusted others for support. By exploring and discussing common warning signs that present right before a mental health crisis, children and youth will be more aware and prepared to support themselves and others.
• Learning about the various types of mental health resources in one’s local and virtual community is an important part of reducing stigma and increasing access to services. This is a great collaborative exercise to do with a whole class to learn about and identify the range of mental health resources that are available in the community, by phone, and online.
• We all want to help others when they are hurting and in distress, and it can be beneficial to the helper and helpee. However, we often don’t know what to say and how to help them in times of crisis. This is a skill that can be learned to enable children and youth to offer their friends support during emotionally challenging times.
• It is important for children and youth to know the limits of the support that they can provide to peers and to know that it is OK to share sensitive information with adults when they think that someone needs more help than they can give. Reaching out for help can be done in ways that don’t feel like betrayal.

I stumbled across this graphic this week and it was just profound to me. The thermometer shows the levels of suicidality (passive, active, ect).

Just talking to someone about suicide will not make them more likely to become suicidal. Talking to someone may help them take a step back and re-evaluate or ask for the help they need.

30 Days of Mental Health - Part III

Anxiety is something I deal with on a regular basis and now one of my kiddos has it too. I have to wonder if it is something she got from me? Genetics may play a part, but this wasn't something I wanted to share with my kiddos. Something I do want to be able to share with her are the ways that I cope with my anxiety and depression. I also have to remember that what works for me, may not work for her.

• Experiencing some amount of anxiety on a regular basis is normal because it allows us to stay alert, respond to stressful events, and operate at max performance when needed. However, some people experience anxiety that does the opposite and interferes with their ability to take action. It is important to recognize the difference between being anxious and clinical levels of anxiety.
• Learning to cope with low or high levels of anxiety is key to feeling better. Teaching students a few coping strategies to reduce and manage anxious feelings can help them cope with life’s many stressors.
• Feeling ‘sad’ or ‘blue’ in response to stressors (e.g. loss of a loved one) or life changes (e.g. moving to a new city) is a common human experience. But does feeling depressed make someone depressed? It is important to recognize the difference between being sad and clinical levels of depression.
• Finding ways to zap or reduce depressive symptoms can be challenging. There are skills and activities that can be learned and used to help boost one’s mood in the moment and then maintain a positive mood over time.
• Empowering children to talk about mental health is an excellent way to increase awareness and reduce stigma. Exploring current mental health awareness initiatives and ways to create school- and community-wide campaigns is a good way to continue these conversations.

I found just two graphics about things you can try when you are dealing with anxiety

I don't do the finger thing but I do the breathing. I think this would be great for younger kiddos.

and just a great one for everyone.

30 Days Of Mental Health - Part II

Continuing on in my 30 days of mental health.

Mental health is such an important topic for anyone who has contact with any other person. This might be a focus on conversations to have with your child, but it applies to any other person you have contact with. Have a conversation and normalize mental health and its importance.


I cannot believe these statistics! Please, please, please talk with your kiddos about their mental health. Normalize these conversations. If you make it a priority in your home, hopefully your child will feel safe coming to you with issues, with concerns. I am blessed to be in a position where I can get my child the diagnosis and help she needs. If you aren't in that position, reach out. There are several organizations that help with mental health for children.

Here are some more of the mental health talking points from 30 Days of Mental Health:

• Stress is how our brains and bodies respond to a challenge or demand. Sometimes stress can be positive, while other times prolonged stress can be harmful. It is important to pay attention to how we deal with minor and major stressors.
• Children and youth need help identifying the sources of stress in their lives, from daily hassles to societal stressors. Exploring the root causes of stress can help children and youth gain agency over the stressors in their lives.
• Everyone experiences stress, and sometimes we can’t control the stressors in our lives, but we can manage how we respond. Developing a trusting relationship with supportive adults and using help-seeking strategies can help minimize the impact of stressors on children and youth.
• Parents and other adults often don’t know how much stress children and youth may be experiencing. Therefore, it is important for children to learn how to express their needs and advocate for changes that would lead to stress management and reduction.
• The COVID-19 pandemic has created a substantial amount of anxiety and stress for communities all over the world. Children and youth have lost the routines that organized their days; they have lost loved ones, lost economic stability, and so much is still unknown. Learning how to make peace with the ongoing stressors of the pandemic can support wellbeing.

30 Days of Mental Health - Part 1

This month, I took the pledge to start our school year with 30 days of mental health awareness. 

The top is cut off, but it says "I pledge to engage my child in. Here are some of the talking points, so you can talk with your kiddos about mental health. It should be normalized and treated just the same as physical health. 

• Mental health includes the cognitive, emotional, and behavioral skills that enable us to live a full and productive life, as well as the flexibility to deal with life’s ups and downs. Mental health doesn't just happen; there are many things in our environment and active steps that we can take to increase the likelihood that we will have positive mental health.
• Mental illnesses are diagnosable health conditions involving changes in thinking, emotion, and/or behavior. Psychological challenges become mental illnesses when they begin to interfere with our ability to engage in social interactions, work or schoolwork, and/or caring for ourselves.
• Everyone has mental health! And anyone can experience mental illness. It is important to normalize discussing mental health and mental illness as just another aspect of being human.
• Helping children and youth understand that negative mental health effects of the pandemic are to be expected, and that they are not alone in experiencing sadness, anxiety, anger, depression, and an increased desire to cope using substances can help normalize the need to ask for help.
• It’s been many months of ongoing loss and change. Children and youth may be grappling with feelings they don’t understand and are unable to name. One of the best ways to help them is by exploring emotional vocabulary and learning to name feelings.

If you want to learn more, or take the pledge yourself, check out 30 Days of Mental Health (click the link!) Let me know if you are pledging!

Every voice matters. Use yours to end the stigma and normalize talking about mental health.

Begin...

Joining in for writer's workshop again this week. You can find out more by clicking the link at the bottom of this post. The prompt I choose this week is: Write a blog post inspired by the word: Begin.

Seven years ago, September 6, I had to start my life over again. My "new normal" began that day, a normal of trying to live without my mom. For all of my life up to that point, my mom had been my confidant, my teacher, my biggest supporter. Then suddenly, without warning at all, she had a "sudden cardiac event." Because she was resituated on scene/at the hospital, we had to make the decision to let her go. She had expressed her wishes before, so we knew what she would want. It was still so hard. Sitting in the hospital, watching her slowly die. It broke me in a way I wasn't expecting. I never thought I would be strong enough to live through the passing of my mom. 

At 30 years old, my mom left the earth and I had to begin the rest of my life without her. I can't even tell you how many times I picked up the phone to call her, only to remember, oh yeah... she's gone. Even seven years later, her number is still programmed into my phone. The last texts all saved. Though that number has long since been reassigned, to me it will always be mom. I still, to this day, comfort myself by keeping things that were hers in my home. By getting things with piggies on them to remind me of her.

I think I will forever be incomplete without her. All I can do to feel complete is to keep living in the way she would have liked and hope that somewhere, she is watching me, our girls, and smiling. 

And a second one, because that was so deep...  Tell us about your favorite TV show lineup as a teen.

I won't say that it was a favorite as a teen, but Blue's Clues was definitely one we watched a lot since we always had little kids around. When Steve left the show, it was sudden and just not the same with the new guy. This week, "Steve" posted a video about his abrupt departure from the show. It was moving in more ways then I even realized. 

I just think it is something everyone should watch. 

 

 Might mean a bit more to those of us who watched him, but still meaningful either way. 

This post inspired by: