Let Them

I've decided that one of my next tattoos is going to be this phrase:

It goes with this poem:

Let Them
Just Let them.
If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.
If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.
If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.
If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.
If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.
If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.
If they want to walk out of your life and leave,
hold the door open, AND LET THEM.

Let them lose you.
You were never theirs, because you were always your own.

So let them.

Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.
Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.
Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life.
Let them earn your forgiveness.
Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.
Let them take you out on a Thursday.
Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.
Let them have a safe place in you.
Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.
Let them love you. “

Author: Cassie Phillips

Oh, and this poem also works the other way ...

Some of us are so conditioned NOT to accept love
we don't know how to &
keep attracting this same kind of person &
keep pushing love away ...
Some of us don't know how to Just LET THEM love us...
If they want to choose you, LET THEM.
If they want to give you their time, LET THEM.
If they are okay with putting you first, LET THEM.
If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.
If they want to make you their world, LET THEM.
If they don't want to judge you or misunderstand you, LET THEM.
If they act like they can't live without you, LET THEM.
If they don't want to leave you & walk out of your life,
Stop holding the door open for them to leave, and LET THEM.

LET THEM LOVE YOU.

Let them show you who they truly are, & then BELIEVE them.
Let them actually prove they are worthy of your time.
Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life.
Let them earn your forgiveness.
Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.
Let them take you out on a Thursday.
Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.
Let them have a safe place in you.
Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.
Stop rejecting Love & "Let them love you."
Author: Myami's Henna

Another poem

I love you,
this isn't your fault,
please quit saying you're sorry

you didn't cause any of this

this weight on your chest
this knot in your stomach
this fog in your brain
this exhaustion in your bones
these tears in your eyes
this darkness in your thoughts
this emptiness in your soul
the friends that have abandoned you
the lack of hope you feel
these endless nights of despair
these marks you have put in your skin
the terrible voices in your head
this crawling under your skin
this coldness in your blood
this terrible sadness that blankets you
this feeling of drowning in anxiety
the lack of people willing to listen to you
the numbness that washes over you
these holes in your heart
the moments of wanting to give up
this relentless feeling that you are broken

it's not your fault
it's not your fault
it's not your fault

none of it is your fault

put two fingers on your pulse

feel your heart beating

you are still alive

what a miracle

the shadow of depression has tried
to destroy you - but couldn't

you are still here
you have endured such suffering
and you are still here
and I'm so very grateful

we need you
the world needs you
I need you

the last poison that depression
wants you to drink is filled
with the lie that this is all
your fault

it isn't

you didn't cause your depression
you aren't being punished
you aren't cursed
you aren't deserving of this pain

but you sure as hell
are going to survive it

your scars will be made
into violin strings

your tears will be made
into a riptide of courage

your pain will be made
into the story of survival

your depression
isn't your fault

you didn't do anything wrong

you don't need to forgive yourself
you just need to love yourself

write this down:
there is nothing to be forgiven for
there is nothing to be forgiven for
there is nothing to be forgiven for

write it over and over
on paper
on your skin
on the walls
on the sand

anywhere where you will keep reading it
so many times

that you can't help believe it

your depression isn't your fault

please hold on,
this isn't your fault

your depression isn't going to destroy you
or define you

you are a beautiful work of creation

like a piece of ornate pottery
forged in fire
you haven't been burned by the flames

you have been made into art

I love you,
this isn't your fault

please quit saying you're sorry

~ John Roedel

find him on Facebook or his website 

Sharing a poem

A friend of mine shared this on her facebook and I've never felt a poem so profoundly. If you want to see more like this, John Roedel has both a website and facebook page. 

my brain and
heart divorced

a decade ago

over who was
to blame about
how big of a mess
I have become

eventually,
they couldn't be
in the same room
with each other

 
now my head and heart
share custody of me

I stay with my brain
during the week

and my heart
gets me on weekends

they never speak to one another

- instead, they give me
the same note to pass
to each other every week
and their notes they
send to one another always
says the same thing:

"This is all your fault"

on Sundays
my heart complains
about how my
head has let me down
in the past

and on Wednesday
my head lists all
of the times my
heart has screwed
things up for me
in the future

they blame each
other for the
state of my life

there's been a lot
of yelling - and crying

so,

lately, I've been
spending a lot of
time with my gut

who serves as my
unofficial therapist

most nights, I sneak out of the
window in my ribcage

and slide down my spine
and collapse on my
gut's plush leather chair
that's always open for me

~ and I just sit sit sit sit
until the sun comes up

last evening,
my gut asked me
if I was having a hard
time being caught
between my heart
and my head

I nodded

I said I didn't know
if I could live with
either of them anymore

"my heart is always sad about
something that happened yesterday
while my head is always worried
about something that may happen tomorrow,"
I lamented

my gut squeezed my hand

"I just can't live with
my mistakes of the past
or my anxiety about the future,"
I sighed

my gut smiled and said:

"in that case,
you should
go stay with your
lungs for a while,"

I was confused
- the look on my face gave it away

"if you are exhausted about
your heart's obsession with
the fixed past and your mind's focus
on the uncertain future

your lungs are the perfect place for you

there is no yesterday in your lungs
there is no tomorrow there either
there is only now
there is only inhale
there is only exhale
there is only this moment

there is only breath

and in that breath

you can rest while your
heart and head work
their relationship out."

this morning,
while my brain
was busy reading
tea leaves

and while my
heart was staring
at old photographs
I packed a little
bag and walked
to the door of
my lungs

before I could even knock
she opened the door
with a smile and as
a gust of air embraced me
she said

"what took you so long?"

john roedel (johnroedel.com)

Writer's Workshop

Joining in with Mama Kat for Writer's Workshop. If you want to know more, click the box at the end of this post. Again, going to choose more then one prompt, because that's how I roll! 

Write a blog post inspired by the word: bucket

Not going to write about this one, but every time I see the word, I think of this picture

This is Alivia, I think summer of 2010 - she was 1 and a few months. The kids use this bucket at Auntie Lease's (Analise's) house for filling water toys and squirt guns. She decided that wasn't enough and she needed to climb right in. 

Share your favorite summer photo so far.

My bff's youngest. Isaac, 5 

Share a memorable road trip story!

I shared something memorable earlier this week. Not sure if that is a good memory or not! Miracle for sure. 

Write a blog post in exactly 13 lines.

They tell you "the days are long but the years are short" 

What they don't tell you is just how short the years are. 

Seems like ages ago I still had babies in my arms, 

But I blinked and now I have three TEENAGERS.

Still not quite sure how that happened so quickly.

Though, as my mom always told me: 

You may have outgrown my lap, but you will never outgrow my heart.

My relationships with them are changing, evolving, 

My love for them growing right along with their bodies. 

Things may change, but one thing I know for sure

my girls will always know that I love them. 

There will never be a question, because I tell them all the time. 

We still exchange hugs and kisses almost every night they are here. 

Someday that might change, but I will keep doing it as long as I can!

Haiku

Write a haiku.

five symbols
seven symbols
five symbols

Simple enough. It can be about anything.


Rain gently falling
Cleansing for the dried out land
Cleansing for my soul


Rain. Not my favorite
Vital for beauty and life
I'll hold my complaints


Dogs bring laughter
They give love and affection
Take our everything

Dogs are friends, children
more then just a pet for sure
priceless companions

Nothing can replace
The love of a faithful dog
He will sit and stay

Dogs are more then pets
Giving far more then they take
Dog is man's best friend

The Letter Poem

Write a poem using words from a famous letter or a letter from your own collection.

I think I want to write one of these instead: 

Watching, wondering, waiting

Anticipating anxiously

It is all I can do to stay in my chair

Turning around constantly looking

Indirectly watching for it

No one should know what I'm feeling. I cannot wait to

Get somewhere where I can rest. 

WW: Eight Lines

Linking up with Mama Kat again this week for writers workshop. If you want to learn more about it, click the link at the bottom of this post. The prompt I chose this week is: Write a blog post in exactly 8 lines.

Wishing I had the gift of words and the ability to feel the poetry flow from my fingers

But, I don't. 

So you get me. 

Just as I am. 

Not a fancy writer. But still a writer. 

Using my words to fill a sometimes random canvas. 

Those random words are my story and my story is my life. 

Daily finding joy in the black and white (and sometimes colored) ink on the pages. 

This post inspired by:

WW: Seven Lines

Linking up with Mama Kat again this week for writers workshop. If you want to learn more about it, click the link at the bottom of this post. The prompt I chose this week is: Write a blog post in exactly 7 lines.

Situations beyond my control lead me to the brink of mental breakdown. 

But He calls me to let go and let Him handle it. 

My heart is heavy and feels broken. 

He holds my tears in His hands and is the great physician, able to heal my brokenness. 

My brain is overwhelmed, consumed with all the tiny things in life.

He takes my burdens. In Him my burden is light, all he requires is release. 

Where I am broken, weary and unfocused, He can heal, refresh and focus me. 

This post inspired by:

1000 gifts: 3 gifts together

• it is a gift to be able to spend time together as a family. Enjoying nightly walks with the dog. 
• it is a gift to be able to spend some one on one time with Stephen, enjoy each others' company. 
• it is a gift to be able to spend time with Mr Odin, our dog. We are slowly gaining each others trust and learning. 

365/278: Writers Workshop

I am going to forward this post by saying, I am not a poet! This has been my least favorite post sofar. I know for a fact that this girl won't be writing books of poetry. The prompt for this week is: Alphabet Poem: Write a 26-line poem using all the letters of the alphabet. Have the first line start with the letter “A,” the second “B,” the third “C,” etc.

Always seeking, always
believing. Never
ceasing in
devoted action.
Every time I move
forth in life I will make it my
goal to be
honest in my thoughts and actions.
In every situation I will be
just and
kind;
Loving others and
making myself an example to others.
Nothing will stop me and even if I am
oppressed I will
persevere. I will not
quiet my
restless heart. I will prayerfully
search it and commit my actions to His
timeline. I will be
unwavering in my dedication to His purpose for my life. I will remember that I am
valuable and treasured by him. I
will also do my best treat others in the way I would like to be treated. I will be
xactly who He wants me to be. I
yearn for His comfort and will find my
zen in His hands.

And my picture for today:

We are fish sitting this weekend. Ignore that my kid can't keep her eyes open
(she takes after daddy there) I just love watching them watch the fish

Writers Workshop #5

Time for another week of Writer's workshop. Hosted by http://mamakatslosinit.blogspot.com/, it is a really fun way to get your brain working and writing. I figure its a good thing for me since I am in school again now. :)

The Prompts this week are:
1.) Do you want a baby?
2.) Who got in big trouble this week?
3.) Write a poem for your mother.
4.) Time for a trip? Where are you headed this summer?...Or where would you go if you COULD.

I think this week I am going to do the same as last week and just start at the top and work my way down. I really do like writing and this gives me the chance. :) Hope you all aren't bored and scared away!

#1 - Do I want a baby? Well, honestly, no. Not another one at least. I just had a baby four short weeks ago, and am not really wanting two! Or to deal with the three kids I have now while pregnant. As much as I love my little girl, the idea of two is just too hard (Sorry Somer!! lol) Though I can tell you a few things that I absolutely LOVE about the baby stage. I love the sounds they make (though I could live without the letdown they most always cause.) I love the smell of their hair and skin (as long as the diaper is clean!) I love the gassy grins (though along with the last one, could live without that smell!) and I love the cuddles. It all goes by way too fast though, and you are back to wishing you could have your baby again!

#2 - Who got in big trouble this week? Well, the only one I can think of is my oldest monster, I mean daughter! lol. On Tuesday she was being just plain AWFUL! I knew she needed a nap, but since the big girl bed entered the picture she has been on a nap strike, and will only take one if she is confined to her car seat or if she crashes on her own on the floor (most usually later than 4pm which makes bedtime REALLY fun!) Anyway, Natalie had already been down for her nap and was back up again. So, I told McKayla if she didn't behave that I was going to put her down for a nap in Natalie's crib, thinking that might get her to behave (I know what you are thinking FAT CHANCE!) but she was like "I want to sleep in Naddie's crib." So, I told her if I stuck her in there, she would be in there for at least an hour. She didn't cry, so I put her in there. About 20 minutes later I went in to check on her, and she was in Alivia's crib (we are currently using a bassinet, so that wasn't an issue) and ASLEEP! So, the big trouble ended up as a nap for mommy! YAY!

#3 - I really really suck at poetry.... Ohhh, I will do one of the ones like this:
M - musically illiterate but still sweet singing to my babies
O - optimistic that everything will be fine
T - talkative when I need distraction
H - honest to a T, more honest than I wish she would be!
E - energetic with her grand babies
R - really the best mom ever!
BEAUTIFUL! isn't it?? lol. I will be sharing this one in her mother's day card this year!

#4 - Time for a trip? Where are you headed this summer?...Or where would you go if you COULD. Okay, actually we are going on a trip next week to see my grandparent's. My mom really really wanted to take the girls over to meet her mom, and as a gift for mother's day we are visiting for three days (long enough, if you know my grandma!) Anyway, while there we are planning to get a four generation picture taken, wish us luck with that!!
Oh, and this summer, we will probably head over to Boise to see my hubby's family. Its a pretty regular trip for us. Getting more and more fun with more kids, but still worth it to see everyone. We have seventeen grandchildren, including my three, so the kids have LOTS of cousins over there, including Gabriel, our nephew, who is only three weeks older then Natalie! So, that is the trips we have planned as of now. :)