Beginning Again

This isn't the first time and it won't be the last, but I am jumping on the "weight loss" bandwagon again. 

Since the pandemic and getting my desk job, I have let myself go. Not caring about my weight as long as I felt okay. Well, I decided that not feeling terrible isn't good enough anymore. I want to start living my best life. 

That means I need to work on my diet and lifestyle. For me, this means I will be tracking my food intake and keeping under a calorie limit each day. 

My goal, right now, is a pound a week. Not going to measure out how many weeks it will take to get to my goal! I also want to think of some non-scale goals I have. I think the biggest one is to feel better about myself in pictures. Here are two from our Florida trip. I HATE the way I look. Lets hope by the time we go back, I can feel better about the way I look. 

So, my first goal is track my food daily, even if it means I am "going over." There will be no cheat days because I am going to allow myself to eat treats as long as they go in the food log. 

If you want to help me stay accountable, feel free to add me as a friend on My Fitness Pal. I will try to journey my progress here, but my motto for this is going to "strive for progress, not perfection." That's what I'm going to do, I am going to make steps toward being healthier, one step at a time. 

Five Minute Friday & 31 Days of Free Writes Part I

I thought this would be a good way to keep me going this month. So every Friday, you will get a week's worth of five minute free writes. This is inspired by the blog Heading Home. You can see more by clicking the link at the bottom of the post.

October 1 

I need to move more! I have been so inactive lately. What I miss most about running is the movement and the views of what is outside. Maybe I should start my walks again. Even the girls would probably appreciate an after dinner walk. Help us all get a little more active. Moving isn't just my physical activity though. I need to move my brain and work on using it more for different things like blogging about things I'm not familiar with and stepping out of my comfort zone. I get comfortable easily (especially at home!) and just sit and watch tv mindlessly, I need to stop that and make a change. Move more, be less stagnant. I might just have to make that one of my goals for this next year, since I haven't done so hot with my 2014 goals. But I am giving myself grace on that. I have had a lot of stuff happen to me in 2014 and I can always start again. What do you think of when you see the word move? Is it physical activity, changes in your home? I am starting to get bored with this topic. I hit my goal too soon and still have time to write. Move also makes me think of all the moves that our little family has made in the last few years we have been in Boise. I hate moving houses but we have every year since moving here. Lame! Hopefully we can stay where we are awhile. I worry we will outgrow it but McKayla is convinced that we can buy this house and stay here forever. I think she's done with moving too. Probably isn't too easy on the kids or myself. I have tried really hard to move only within their school zone though, so at least they don't have to deal with that.

October 2 

My view seems very limited right now. I am so focused on getting through each day without my mom. She always used this description of life, sometimes you are in this thick fog (happens a lot in the Willamette Valley) and you can't see anything in front of you. You are driving along with such a limited view. That is how we live our lives, but we have someone we can trust in. Someone who can see through the fog and tell us which way to go. It's hard being in the middle of tragedy. All you see is this tiny picture of what is right in front of you. What you can't see is the amazing painting that God is creating out of your life. I pray this will help make me a better, stronger person. Give me new insight to use in life. Change my view of the world a little bit. View isn't just about that to me though, it's about using your life to see the world through the eyes of another person. Your view is limited to what you have been through. You can have sympathy for someone going through something you haven't ever experienced, but you can't have empathy without having experienced it yourself. I'm not saying that one is better then the other, just saying that without having been through a situation, being in the "driver seat" view, you have no idea what someone is going through. Watch the words you say, the things you do. My view right now totally stinks, but I am praying that God will widen my horizon, show me something good will come of this and that I will grow as a person. My view may suck, but my God certainly doesn't!

October 3 - Five Minute Friday

See last week's Five Minute Friday here.

October 4

I never thought at 30 I would be struggling with my third grader's homework. Common core has completely ruined that. It actually prompted me to send an email to her teacher to ask for help. So frustrating. This isn't really something I wanted to learn at 30. Math isn't something I really enjoyed learning before and I certainly don't like explaining that I don't understand her third grader's homework. I need to learn before I can help her and it makes me really really frustrated. I understand that they are trying to standardize things, but this is getting silly. They are making it harder then it has to be and I hate that! I struggled with math as a child. I can't even imagine trying to do things now. They are learning in a way that makes zero sense to me. Right now learning is frustrating. I see the word and it makes me think of helping McKayla. The poor thing is trying to explain it to me and she is getting frustrated because mommy doesn't get it. This was NOT supposed to happen at age 8 (almost 9!). I thought I had years before I would have to start learning again, but alas, I am back to it. M's teacher is sending me some examples home so that I can learn how she is learning and we also plan to discuss it during her parent teacher conference. So annoying! I wish I could just teach her the way I learned, but this is going to be the way they test, so I can't.

October 5 

I love Natalie's expression in this picture. She is clearly not amused to be in this "swing" but not able to get herself off. It's like life sometimes. We are on this ride that was not what we signed up for and all we want is off. But we can't do it ourselves. No matter how hard we try, we aren't going to be able to handle this life on our own. We need help from the source. He is the only one who can help us get through the ride without harm. No matter how hard we try on our own, we just make it harder. I really like the story about the goat. He was stuck in a dry well. The farmer couldn't get him out (who knows why, doesn't seem that hard!) but he gave up on the goat and decided to put it to rest by burring it alive (my goodness this story is sounding a lot worse typed out!). So, shovel full by shovel full, he started to slowly fill the hole. But what the goat did is what we have to do, he would shake the dirt off, stomp around a bit and just keep doing that. The way he was doing that he was keeping the ground (and dirt) under his feet, no matter what the farmer flung in the hole. It's an amazing metaphor for our lives. We can be the farmer and just give up when it seems you are stuck in an impossible situation or we can be like the goat and brush it off and keep going. I am sure the goat wasn't happy about having that dirt dumped on him, and he probably wasn't quiet, but he kept at it, didn't give up. That is how we have to be. We can't just give up and figure we will be stuck until we die, we have to shake it off, ask for help and move on.

October 6 

I always like to say that there is some that I do know and a lot that I don't know. Or is that do? I don't know. lol But I have a lot of what my mom affectionately called "brain farts" that leave me wondering what the heck I was thinking about or what I was doing. It is expected at this stage in my grief, but I am more prone to these attacks. I know that it is something that will get better, but sometimes I wonder. It might just be something I have to live with more of. There are a few things I do know: I know that God loves and will never stop. I know that I have three amazing children who God will help me raise the way He wants me to. I know that I have a finance who loves me and would do almost anything for me. I know that I have an amazingly supportive group of coworkers. Not many people can say their coworkers paid for them to get home and in three short hours no less. I know that I have a job that isn't going anywhere. I am in an industry that isn't going away. Everyone needs a doctor and those doctors are always going to need staff to support them. I know many things. Many important things, some not so important but I do know things. I know that I am rocking my jamberry sales and am excited about it. I know that I am determined to meet my goals and do well at this job. I know that it's fun to promote a product that I love. I just wish I knew a bit more about the business side so I could do that more easily. But I have lots of family and friends who have been amazingly supportive so far with my business endeavor.

October 7

The first thing that comes in to my mind when I think of is driving. I go crazy when I am out and about driving. Especially when I have a specific place and time to be somewhere. The traffic and stupid things people do irritates me and more often then not I am yelling at them. "GO!" It was especially infuriating the other morning on my way to work, I went from cruising at 60ish mph (construction zone) to like 5 mph. All because they had changed the lanes a bit So annoyed when I realized why everyone was slowing. All I wanted to do was go. They were being more careful then I was, well more cautious at least. Not to say I am not a careful driver, I just don't think it is safe to go from regular speed to really, really slow in the span of a mile. The funny thing is that it's a chain reaction. The person who initially slowed caused everyone else to do so, that made it even a bigger mess. The people in the back (where I was!) had zero idea what was going on. All I knew is that I wasn't going anywhere. That could really symbolize life. There are many of us who are just going the path. Following the clump of cars around us, not sure really what is going on. We might have a plan but no real way to deal with problems when they come up. Sometimes they bring us from comfortably "going" along in life to being stopped. And it isn't something you can just pick up and resume your previous speed. You have to follow the direction of the rest of the traffic. I guess that part isn't really like life, you want to go at your own rate. Oh well. There goes that symbolism!

October 8

 When I think about the word say, immediately my mind wanders to how much words can hurt. What you say to someone else can really effect them. I have been told things (in my younger years) that have stayed with me. It's heartbreaking especially when it happens to your kids and you can't do anything about it. My girls are constantly coming in the house and saying that someone called them this name or that, or even that someone called them mean or rude. They are my girls, so of course this brings them to tears. They don't want to be that kid who is rude or mean. At this young an age (my oldest is just shy of nine) and they are already concerned about what other people say about them or to them. I am trying really hard to make them understand that they are only words, and that what matters is what is going on inside. If they know they aren't rude and they know they aren't mean, they need to figure out how to remind themselves of that. I don't want my children to be hard-hearted, but I don't want them crying every time someone says something mean to them. It's a really tough struggle. I want the words that come out of my mouth to be pleasing to the Lord. That means that I am going to do my best not to gossip or say mean things about people. It also means that I will use my words to try and lift people up. I pray that my words are a reflection of what I believe. People should be able to know that I am christian by the way that I talk and the way I behave. Not only that, but people will judge all Christians by what one person is saying. What you say matters. Don't throw your words away so easily. Stop and think about the words that are about to come out of your mouth.

October 9 

When I see the word join, the only thing I can think of right now is Jamberry. I have had so much fun since joining. I love being able to share something I love with the people who are closest to me. I love being able to make money sharing that with others. Won't lie, I am slightly addicted. This payday I am buying three sheets for the girls, but also one for me. I am thinking Halloween ones might be fun! We will see what strikes my fancy when I am placing my order. =) I won't go into detail about what jamberry has also given me, but I will say that it has given me a new purpose. It fills a little bit of the void in my life. When the girls aren't home I am able to focus on the business and hopefully start earning some real money to help them have a great life. I would love to be able to use jamberry to get my girls into the extra circular activities that I haven't been able to afford. The best part of joining, to me, is that in my first two weeks I totally made back the cost of my kit plus the costs of some of the other things I splurged on for the business. Joining jamberry has been life changing for me. Who knows where it will take me in a few years, but I have heard of consultants who pay their mortgage on what they make from Jamberry. It's amazing. I won't use this as a platform to try and "sell it to you" but I will say if you are interested, let me know so I can get you some more information. I love that I have joined a company who rewards their consultants. I love that I have something I love that I can share and earn money. All it took was that leap of faith that it would work as long as I was willing to put the time and energy into it. I had to take the step of faith that my money wasn't being wasted.

October 10 - Five Minute Friday

I hear care and immediately think of my job. I work in an internal medicine office. For those unfamiliar, it is basically a primary care office for adults. A majority of our patients are elderly. I love being a partner in their care. There are a few patients who I have really grown to love. Not only do I care about them getting taken care of, but I care about what happens to them. It's been three years since I started and I still have a few favorite patients. Thanks to HIPAA, I can't share anything about any of them, but I sure love my job and (most of) my patients! Another thing that comes to mind when I think of care is my sweet finance Stephen. He also works with elderly patients, though his care is with them in a nursing home. I can't imagine doing what he does, spending the time with them that he does and dealing with losing them. He has grown so close to a few of his residents that he remained friends with the families after their passing. It's really amazing to hear him talk about his job. Like anyone else, there are days both of us don't like it, but overall the opportunity that we have to help care for the elderly in our community is wonderful.



This post inspired by:

Back to It

If anyone has been reading long, you know that weight has been a struggle for me. I went through a long period where I was running quite regularly and doing well. But since my divorce, my weight has gone up and my fitness has gone way down. It's discouraging to know that a year ago I was training for a half marathon and this year I am so not!

Anyway, the point of this post was not a pity me post, it was to get some accountability partners. Thursday I started tracking my food again on my fitness pal. If you want to join me there, my username is NAMsMommy. I am going to also try and do regular updates here to keep you all posted on how I'm doing.

What I hope to accomplish with tracking:

1. to hold myself accountable to what I am putting in my mouth 
2. to gain some control over my eating habits
3. to start eating more healthy 

One of the things I am really trying to change is my snacking. I have had the worst snacking habits ever. I am planning this weekend to slice up some fresh veggies to keep in the fridge so if I am feeling it, I can eat those. 

Do you have any more tips for eating healthier?
Do you want to join me on this journey?

Cancelled!

Today was supposed to be writer's workshop, but I am totally not feeling it, so I am going to just go with a mind dump. That should help me clear some of this junk out of my head. Hopefully I will be focused enough to do this next week. If you are just tuning in, a mind dump is basically a list of all the stuff that is swirling around in my head at the time of writing. It helps me get things out of there and maybe start working on solutions to some of the problems I am having.

• I am feeling a little hungry today. Just started watching what I eat again. Need to start feeling better about myself again. Keep me in your thoughts, this weight loss thing is never easy! 
• I wish that my counseling appointment wasn't so late, it's at 8:30 tonight and is supposed to be an hour. This "old lady" doesn't like being up that late! 
• Is feeling a little worried about my finances and wish that the support payments would start coming in soon... it would be nice to have a little breathing room. 
• I think I am officially addicted to pinterest. I wish I were more crafty though. There are some things I would love to have for my home but I just can't see myself making them. 
• I can't wait until the new guy at work is finished training. He is learning quickly, but I am ready to be "fully staffed" again! 
• I am so proud of myself for remembering to water the lawn every day. It's really looking great and I love sitting in the nice green grass under the wonderful warm sunshine. It's like nature's antidepressant! 
• My girls have been begging way too many weeks to go swimming. I am glad that my sister in law is hosting a swimming party for her youngest's birthday. I am sure they will have a blast! 
• Trying to reduce my soda pop intake is HARD. I have a serious addiction to coke zero, especially when the convenience stores have the flavor you can add. Vanilla coke zero is my FAVORITE! 
• Natalie's first filling is scheduled this next week. Prayers that it will go well would be appreciated. 
• McKayla's attitude is really beginning to wear on this momma. She has very definite opinions and isn't afraid to tell me when she doesn't like something or someone. The worst part is that it's starting to rub off on her sisters. :/ 

So there you have it, just a look at what is on my mind today. What is one thing rattling around in your head right now?

365/254: Dry Spell OVER!

I haven't been really public about it, but the last two weeks I haven't been running. Not even once since my eight miler on 8-25. That is 14 full days that I went without a single training run. But that all ended last night. I got 2.45 miles done and felt really good about it.

Planning another two or three tonight. I also made myself a new goal on nike+ to run 12+ miles per week for six weeks. That will take me just beyond my half marathon. I think it's an attainable goal! =) If you feel like helping me out in my motivation and are on nike+ follow this link to go to my profile on nike+ and add me as a friend. Or my username is BetsyS4

I also got a really good motivation booster when I went to complete my food journal entry on myfitnesspal:

If only weight loss were just a numbers game: there would be no stopping me!! Another way you can help me on my journey is to be my friend on myfitnesspal as well. I have my food journal open for my friends to view so you can tell me how awesome I did (or tell me to lay off the french fries! lol) You can see my profile here or my username there is NAMsMommy 

What do you do to keep on track and motivated?

365/238: Reflecting on Me

 I am the worst about criticizing my pictures. Every one I see of myself I try and find what I don't like about it. I have often found myself wanting to delete pictures the girls have taken of me. These are two examples of ones I wanted to just erase off my camera. But I didn't. You wanna know why? Because I need to remind myself that no matter what weight I lose, how fit I become, if I don't love the body I am in, I am never going to be happy. I love that my girls are so free with their compliments. They never fail to tell me how beautiful I look. I would love to see myself through those kind of eyes. I want them never to see their mommy putting herself down. I want them to see me and learn about positive body image. I need to make sure that they know that they are so much more then a number on a scale.

I am beautiful. I am strong. I am loved.

365/138: Happy Birthday to me!

Had some fun with photobucket.
A commemorative 29th birthday photo

I have slowly started to make my very own bucket list, I will share it all eventually. But, there is one item I really want to complete by my 30th birthday (one year from today, 5-18-14) and that is to run a half marathon.

I have done 5k's, I have done a 10k (and that was brutal!) but this one would be twice as long as my longest. I have a few girls that have been especially supportive. My friend Kaci ran her first about 3 years ago and I have been inspired since then. It was something I never thought I could do. Something I never knew I wanted to do, but she gave me the "running bug." I started couch2-5k shortly after (for the first time!) Then I stupidly stopped running after moving here. I have tried a few times before to start up again, unsuccessfully.

I restarted the program earlier this year, using it to start training for the dirty dash. Unfortunately I fell and fractured a vertebrae just one week after starting, so I had to wait again to keep running. I got the okay to start running again two weeks ago and have been going strong since.

I knew that to keep running through the hot summer and then the cold winter I was going to need more motivation. So, I went on facebook and searched out some running mom pages. I also found a local mom's running group that I have met with once. I figure it will give me some accountability and maybe help me find a running partner? I also have a wonderful friend Karen who has an awesome running blog (Trading in my Heels). She is a marathoner mom, so very motivating!

Right now I am planning to run the Famous Idaho Potato Marathon in May 2014. For 2013 the race actually lands on my birthday. It is supposed to be a fairly flat and scenic course along the greenbelt here in Boise. I figure it is perfect for my first. I am also seriously considering the Fit One 9k (formally the women's fitness celebration) that is in September of 2013. It is a huge women's only event, one that I have yet to be a part of. With the timing of it, feels just right to start off the fall with a race =)

I do want to ask my running readers, what do you wish you knew before you did your first half? Any tips would be appreciated. I am pretty new to this distance running.

Do you have a bucket list? What is on yours? I really think in the coming months, I might just have to actually write out a bucket list.

365/99: March Month End Progress Report

I am now finished with month three of 2013 and it is that time again for me to update on how I am doing. Can you believe a quarter of the year is already over?! Wow. I am seriously shocked, this year is FLYING by! 

Goal #1 - Fitness: to get in at least 365 fitness miles in 2013. I totally rocked the month of March with my miles. Despite my injury I still managed to get 37.75 miles done. This helps me to catch up with my goal. Ended up at about 1.22 miles per day average. =) I am VERY happy with that and as the temperatures go up, I can only see the miles going up as well!

Goal #2 - Health: To lose 25 lbs in 2013. I did alright this month again. Total loss for March was 2.3 pounds. I was doing excellent pre-injury but sadly gained just a bit after falling. Not moving makes a HUGE difference. :( I am optimistic that I can still make this goal. I am not quite on track, but as with the goal above as the weather improves there is more chances for me to get out and be in the sunshine. And with movement, comes weight loss! =)

Goal #3 - Mental: To read at least one non-fiction book per month for a total of 12. I had a pretty good reading month. I finished Women and Stress as well as Gracia Burnham's book In the Presence of my Enemies. It was an amazing book. Very sad, as it was her account of the year she spent as a hostage in the jungle of  the Philippines. I can honestly say that I was unable to put this book down. I really wanted to see how it turned out and how she got out. I vaguely remember the news of that, it was the summer of my senior year in high school when it happened but it was quickly overshadowed by the events of September 11th. I strongly recommend this one. It was an amazing story of God's provision and grace through that horrible situation. I am feeling quite good about this goal. It feels like I am accomplishing something when I can say that not only have I finished four non-fiction books, but I have also read 18 fiction books. What can I say, I'm a reader!

Goal #4 - Financial: To add to our family's savings from each paycheck. This goal is going nowhere fast. I hate that. But we are paying down on some of our debt, so I am feeling better about our financial situation in general. =)

Goal #5 - Spiritual: To get into the word daily. I am still doing really well on this as well. I have been using my bible app on my  phone and working through some plans on there. Did a Lent one over the last month. Didn't give me specific books to read, but rather passages of scripture that applied to this season of year. The passing and resurrection of Jesus is a very important thing in our christian walk. I cannot imagine still doing the sacrifice for my sins... The magnitude of God's gift to us can only be imagined. To take my only child and sacrifice him/her for the sins of a world that didn't even seem to care? I can only imagine how heartbreaking and difficult that was. But I am so grateful that he did that for me. For you too! If you have questions about this, you are welcome to comment or email me (see the contact me tab above). If for any reason I can't get you the answer, I will find someone who can. =) I have just started a new plan that will take me through the minor prophets of the old testament.

So, that's a recap of my goals for March. You can see how I did the past months by clicking the year of change tab above!

And a picture of our family from Auntie Analise (since for the life of me I couldn't figure out a picture that "goes" with my weight loss theme.

Spring Break 2013

365/88: Temptation

You know what makes this lifestyle change the hardest...

Yeah, that would be all the sugar filled, calorie laden treats that adorn our break-room table. This is the table full I came into Monday. Then Tuesday they added some chocolate with chocolate frosting cupcakes. Why on earth does it have to be this hard!?

I wish I could be one of those people who could have just one slice of that pumpkin chocolate chip bread without wanting to shove the entire loaf down my throat. But sadly right now, that person I am not. Right now I know that the temptation in the break-room isn't worth the calories I will have to track in my food log. Or the number of miles that I will have to walk (not run, because I can't do that yet) to burn that off!!

I can't wait to get back to jogging again. I can consume many more calories when I do that. =) Until then I will keep motivated with the new pages I have "liked" on facebook and the wonderful friends who have always been there.

Me & My Issues

I know I have mentioned it before, but I am on a weight loss journey. I am trying not only to lose weight but to change my relationship with food. I don't want it to be my comfort, or my joy. I want food to be there to sustain me and that is all.

Anyway, part of that journey is learning that I need to love the person I am right now, even if I think I need to change a few things about myself.

One of the things I realized since the beginning of this year is that I am entirely too hard on myself. I talk down about myself more often then I should. I even do it in front of my kids. Take this picture for insistence, Natalie snapped this one for me. She told me what a beautiful picture of me it was, then handed me the camera. I took one look at the picture and said something about how big my butt looked. Right in front of my daughter. I immediately took it back, agreed with her that it is an amazing picture of me.

It was in that moment that I realized that not only do I need to love myself, I need to show my girls that they are beautiful no matter what they do or how they look. I need to show my girls that I have a healthy self esteem. I need to make sure that they grow up with healthy self esteems. Other girls will try and tear them apart. I don't know if you have heard, but girls are just mean! I need to be their rock.

So, today I am going to say five things I love about myself:
* I love my cute curly hair
* I love my beautiful blue eyes
* I love my cute toes (especially when they are painted)
* I love my hourglass figure
* I love my skin tone

Now, the next time I do that, I want to be able to do it a lot faster then I did today. I may not be perfect, but I need to be perfectly happy with the skin I'm in. If you have any self affirming statements you want to share with me, please pass them along =) Until I find one I love, I will continue pinning "great quotes" on my pinboards.

Lacking motivation...

Its been one of "those weeks."

You know, the ones where you can't seem to find the energy or the "want to" to do much of anything. Though we did have a fairly full weekend, that is about all we got done.

I would love to be able to blame it on the "extra kid" I had this weekend, or the fact that our schedule was full, but I can't.

I simply didn't want to work out at all.

But today, today I have a run planned. I have everything set out to keep me going on that run. The only thing that might hinder me is rain, and I have extra clothes so hopefully that won't even be a problem.

My lack of movement is beginning to wear on me, and I need to change it again.

I am going to begin a streak again today. Starting today, I will get AT LEAST 10 minutes of movement in each day. Whether that be a walk outside my "norm," or a run, or doing one of my workout dvds.

I WILL do something to get off the sofa for at least 10 minutes everyday for the next month. And if i do, I will treat myself to a pedicure! =)

Keep me accountable my friends, I need help! If I can lose the inches again, I have practially a whole wardrobe of size 12 pants for work! So, if you don't see me for awhile, bug me! Make sure I am keeping with it!

Day 26

I seriously love that my freezer is covered with pictures of all the people who love me. It reminds me every time I go for that ice cream of all those who might look to me as an example. =) My kids deserve to have a mom who is healthy and I am getting there. Can't say I'm perfect (who can!?) But I am getting there, and I am proof that it can be done. I am down nearly 30 pounds now, and slowly developing a healthier lifestyle. Take last night for example, we had turkey burgers on 100 calorie buns with sweet potato fries. And I stopped when I was full! It was an amazing feeling of empowerment that I can make the right choices for me! =)

You know what else I love about my fridge? It is covered with people who support me! =) I can look and remember if I am having a bad day that I can call any one of them for help (or email them :P)

If you can believe it, I have thinned out the pictures that are up there. I have a special album for old Christmas pictures so I don't toss em. =)

My weight loss

I know I don't blog about it often (or maybe for some, its too much!) But, as most of you know, I am on a journey to change my life. I want to lose weight, but I want to do this the right way. That way, my girls have an example of someone who is healthy and living! 

 Part of what I am doing is running. If you remember, I did my first 5k run in October. I was so amazed at what I did ALL ON MY OWN! No one else could help me make that accomplishment. And while doing that training I ran over 100 miles in the span of three months. Talk about double wow! I can't believe what I did. (again, something no one could do for me! Woot!) 

 Anyway, getting of track here. I started out my journey at 210 pounds. This is the first (and only!) time I will admit that!! But I am happy to report, that after this calendar year, according to my TOPS weigh ins, I have lost 23.2 lbs! I am amazed!! And the more impressive part (in my opinion) is that I have also lost a full shirt size and THREE pants sizes!! (I went from an XL to a L top and a 20 pants to a 14) 

To be fair and honest, it would have been more, but I gained way more than I should have this Christmas break. But you know what? That's okay. I can stand to gain some over the holidays and not beat myself up over it. I know that this winter break I have had fun. That is what is important! =) I just wanted to share how excited I was about my loss this year. I am proud of what I have done. And to keep me in the weight loss spirit, I have signed up for a 10k run this spring. 

On March 26 I will be running in the Make a Change 10k trail run. =) I am pretty excited! Got my training plan typed out and everything. Check marks have started, only 12.5 weeks to go!! (You can see the ticker in my sidebar now!) 

 So, my goal for that run is going to be 90 minutes. That gives me the 15/min mile that I aimed for with my first 5k. I am keeping with that so I am not pressured into training too hard. =) So, keep me in your thoughts the next 12 weeks, I will be running rain or shine. And knowing my local winter weather, its gonna be more of the first! lol. Have an awesome day everyone!

Something that Makes Me Different

I love the topic idea today: something that makes you different. I love to talk about this, and hope no one here will blast me for it. I have someone who makes me different actually, and his name is Jesus. He alone is the reason I have faith that this isn't all for me. I know that He has great plans for me and so long as I am in His word and asking for His guidance, I am going to go far. I have been a christian for as long as I can remember, it makes me stand out because it gives me a reason to be happy. =) I have people ask me all the time "why are you so happy all the time" then I can share with them. Even at work people notice that I am happy, and I just keep up the cheerful attitude, because that is what He wants of me. I just want to take this moment right now, in my personal blog, to tell anyone reading that if you want to know more about what makes me different, please message me so I can tell you more about Who makes me different.

Today was a great day. I got to go to the TOPS fall rally with my mom. She is the one who encouraged me to join TOPS and it has been a wonderful support and accountability to me. I will admit that when I first joined I didn't take any of it seriously, but seeing that number keep going up every week was horrible. When I finally reached my highest weight of 212 lbs I made a decision that I was worth the effort it was going to take to change my life. And I haven't looked back. I am the best female loss for my group for the year so far with a loss (as of Aug. 31) of 28.8lbs. That is impressive! Woot! It is little changes that made my life start turning around, and you know what, now I have sparked an interest in others that I never thought I could. Check out the other day's blog, I went jogging with MY DAD! How awesome is that? And my husband is even getting into the lifestyle change and is nearly 20 down himself. =) Oh, and don't forget my sister, who started to limit her energy drink intake and up her walking and activity and lost more than 15 over this summer! I am so happy in the change that TOPS (Taking off pounds sensibly) and Spark have done for me, that along with the support of so many wonderful people, I am currently nearly 35 down from where I started. That is something to be happy about!

My diet and fitness today weren't too bad either, in my calorie range, met all nutrition goals, and only slightly below for my burn goal (but well over my goal for the week!)

The Place I Wish I was From

Today's topic is the place you wish you were from. I can't really say that I would change where I am from. I was born in the sunshine state, Florida. My dad was in the navy and stationed in Jacksonville. Both my sister and I were born there and lived there till I was just shy of 4. I have no memory what-so-ever of that time, but wish I did. I think that might be the only thing I would change. I constantly tell people when they note that I am "always cold" that I am from the sunshine state and have sunshine in my blood and can't ever get used to this cold! lol. (Not that Oregon is all that cold, but you know what I mean) So, I guess you know a bit more about me, even though I wouldn't change where I was born. I believe that changing where you are from would change the person you have become, and that just isn't worth it to me. =)

I had a most excellent fitness day today. Got in the last 30 minute parent-tot swim class that I get to have for awhile (I will be doing a work study for school starting next week, bummer!) Then I went for a jog with my dad! Talk about strange. I love my dad and all, but it was the last thing I expected him to ask when he asked what I was doing to lose weight. When I told him mostly jogging, he asked to go with me! Wow. Talk about blown away. I expressed my surprise to my mom who told me I should take it as a form of flattery. He sees that I am losing weight and that what I am doing is working, and wants to "be like me" Wow. This whole lifestyle thing is changing everything!

Even nutrition wise it wasn't a horrible day. I was right at my range, though could have had more veggies and a bit more water, it wasn't horrible. I did get over to the Farmer's market and got a few to hopefully tide me over to next week. I have to figure something out to do after this season is over. I'm gonna miss my 'farm fresh veggies!'

Someone Who Isn't In My State or Country

Today's challenge topic is someone that’s not in your state/country. I am guessing what this means is I get to talk about someone not in my state/country. I will blog about the person who is the farthest from me in distance. My friend Hania lives in New Zealand. Her and her husband Kyle were a really big inspiration in the early stages of my relationship with my husband. They came to the US this last summer and we got to spend a few hours with them and their beautiful daughter. It was like we had never been apart. They were so nice and so interested in how we were doing. They took us to dinner, it was just wonderful to be with them again. They also assured us if we ever made it to New Zealand that we have a place to stay! Woot!

I weighed in again today, and guess what, another nearly 3 lbs gone! 2.8 loss today. That is almost six pounds in two weeks! Woot! I think I finally found my sweet spot for intake and burn. =) The fitness today was awesome! jogged/walked more than 4.5 miles. It was awesome! I did pretty well on the intake too, calorie wise at least! lol. Tomorrow is a new day, and hoping to get to the market and get some new fresh veggies. =) I love fall, all the produce here is starting to come off!!

Okay and before I sign off for today, I have to have a bit of a rant here. I am a Biggest Loser fan, I have been watching a few seasons now, but this season finale really irritated me. I was watching and half the people who didn't get a spot on the show were like "my life is over" blah blah blah. UGH! I am like, dude, I have LOST 35 lbs without the biggest loser. It is so frustrating to see all these people who believe that it is their last chance. It isn't. You CAN do it, you just have to set your mind to it and DON'T GIVE UP! Sorry, just had to do that. On the one hand I know that the show is amazing and inspiring, but then on the other hand I can find REAL LIFE people who are just as inspiring as the show, and use them as a realistic example of how weight loss and fitness can really work. =)

The Person I Miss

I thought since I am half way through my 30 day challenge I would re-post the topics. The whole idea of the challenge is to get you into daily blogging (in my case again lol) by giving you a daily topic to write on. I have found it really interesting because its usually something I wouldn't write about. Please feel free to take this idea and use it in your own blog =) Today is day 15, see my writing below the list of topics!

Day 1 - Your best friend
Day 2 — Your vices
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 —Your siblings
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — Someone that inspires you
Day 7 — Your job
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend that you’ve never met
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — Your dream vacation
Day 13 — Something you’re looking forward to
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — The place you wish you were from
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Something that makes you different
Day 20 — Your favorite television shows
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Your pet peeves
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — A life changing moment
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The thing you most enjoy doing
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — Your talent
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

The person I miss the most is today's topic. I don't know that there is any one person I miss more than any other. I lost a really close friend in my freshman year of high school that I do miss dearly. Her name was Gina. She was just shy of 30 and I babysat her girls. She was the best bargain finder I have ever met. She could find something at the worst garage sales ever. I really wish she had been around when my girls were born, I am sure we would have found all my baby stuff uber cheap! So, I guess Gina would be the person I miss the most.

Today has been a pretty decent day. I started out missing the run I had planned, but it ended up being a good thing, because I plan to do a run tomorrow and don't want to be sore. =) Food wise I was on the high end of my calories, but that's okay. I just pray that my three "bad" days this week don't reflect too badly in my weight! I was only over one day, but at the high end two others.

Someone I've Drifted Away From

Today's challenge topic for the challenge is someone you’ve drifted away from. I have to admit that most of the people that I was close with in high school I have drifted from. I think that is life though. I think that as you get married, you become closer to your spouse and then you have kids and that bond with your spouse and child are then more important than any other, and I think in all honesty, most relationships with other people fade into the background. I think it takes a really strong friendship to not fade with time. Very few people are blessed enough to have a person like that in their lives, and if you are one of those people, HOLD ON! :-)

My day today went well. It was a bit high stress as I was home alone with my babies all day by myself (not that I don't do that often, but they were in RARE form today) It just seemed like it was a very difficult day. My nearly 5 year old is becoming VERY sassy and I am having a hard time controlling my frustration with her. Anyone have tips for dealing with her attitude. She has also picked up this whining that I cannot handle. I ignore her when she talks like that, but its SO HARD sometimes! Anyway, the frustration didn't draw me to food, but the temptation of the candy pumpkins was just TOO much to resist. I finished off the package today, with the help of the girls. But still wasn't an out of control number and tomorrow is a new day!

I finished off my day with a walk with a friend. We got in two leisurely miles in 34 minutes. lol. Still burned the calories though!

Dream Vacation

Today's challenge topic is your dream vacation. I think mine would be quite involved, but if it had to be just one country, I would go to Australia, with a stop in New Zeland as well. Probably a cruise there. Enjoy my time. I also want to scuba dive while I am there. =)

My day today went well. I had work for 4 hours as a customer service manager, so I'm sure that burned some calories running around the store like a crazy person! lol I then came home and did a 40 minute run in the rain. So refreshing as long as there isn't wind. I hate the wind. I did a pretty good time too. Two miles at about 13 minutes each, then a cool down walk of just over half a mile. Nice 450 calories burned. Just what I needed to meet my goal! =)

A Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk To

Today's topic is interesting to me... A deceased person you wish you could talk to. I am very blessed to have not lost many of my close friends or family members. I think if there were one deceased person I could talk to it would be my Opa (my grandfather's dad). He was in a Japanese work camp during World War II while the rest of his family were in a concentration camp. My grandpa is JUST now opening up a bit about his time in Indonesia before they were captured, won't talk about the camp life still. But I would love to talk to my Opa, get some more information about what it was like, how he felt and their life in Indonesia. I think it would be interesting to know more about my past, to know where I came from. =)

Today hasn't been the best activity wise. I worked a full shift at work as a cashier at walmart, then we went shopping (took nearly an HOUR!) Ugh. By the time we got home I was in no mood to work out. At all. I did try and workout with one of the Spark 10 minute ones, but my heart wasn't in it, so I stopped it and did some strength training. I got two sets of 15 closed hand and open hand wall push ups. Then I did weights, held them straight down to my side and lifted straight up to a T shape with the arms, again two sets of 15 reps. Last I did some triceps lifts with weights, two sets of 15 reps. Not too shabby I think. I have a run planned tomorrow. Hope to burn the 500 I need to make my weekly goal but if not, oh well. I will be close!

As for the nutrition side, it was good too. I did cave and get some candy pumpkins, but limited myself to 8 of them. Still within my calorie range for the day though!