Five Minute Friday & 31 Days of Free Writes Part I

I thought this would be a good way to keep me going this month. So every Friday, you will get a week's worth of five minute free writes. This is inspired by the blog Heading Home. You can see more by clicking the link at the bottom of the post.

October 1 

I need to move more! I have been so inactive lately. What I miss most about running is the movement and the views of what is outside. Maybe I should start my walks again. Even the girls would probably appreciate an after dinner walk. Help us all get a little more active. Moving isn't just my physical activity though. I need to move my brain and work on using it more for different things like blogging about things I'm not familiar with and stepping out of my comfort zone. I get comfortable easily (especially at home!) and just sit and watch tv mindlessly, I need to stop that and make a change. Move more, be less stagnant. I might just have to make that one of my goals for this next year, since I haven't done so hot with my 2014 goals. But I am giving myself grace on that. I have had a lot of stuff happen to me in 2014 and I can always start again. What do you think of when you see the word move? Is it physical activity, changes in your home? I am starting to get bored with this topic. I hit my goal too soon and still have time to write. Move also makes me think of all the moves that our little family has made in the last few years we have been in Boise. I hate moving houses but we have every year since moving here. Lame! Hopefully we can stay where we are awhile. I worry we will outgrow it but McKayla is convinced that we can buy this house and stay here forever. I think she's done with moving too. Probably isn't too easy on the kids or myself. I have tried really hard to move only within their school zone though, so at least they don't have to deal with that.

October 2 

My view seems very limited right now. I am so focused on getting through each day without my mom. She always used this description of life, sometimes you are in this thick fog (happens a lot in the Willamette Valley) and you can't see anything in front of you. You are driving along with such a limited view. That is how we live our lives, but we have someone we can trust in. Someone who can see through the fog and tell us which way to go. It's hard being in the middle of tragedy. All you see is this tiny picture of what is right in front of you. What you can't see is the amazing painting that God is creating out of your life. I pray this will help make me a better, stronger person. Give me new insight to use in life. Change my view of the world a little bit. View isn't just about that to me though, it's about using your life to see the world through the eyes of another person. Your view is limited to what you have been through. You can have sympathy for someone going through something you haven't ever experienced, but you can't have empathy without having experienced it yourself. I'm not saying that one is better then the other, just saying that without having been through a situation, being in the "driver seat" view, you have no idea what someone is going through. Watch the words you say, the things you do. My view right now totally stinks, but I am praying that God will widen my horizon, show me something good will come of this and that I will grow as a person. My view may suck, but my God certainly doesn't!

October 3 - Five Minute Friday

See last week's Five Minute Friday here.

October 4

I never thought at 30 I would be struggling with my third grader's homework. Common core has completely ruined that. It actually prompted me to send an email to her teacher to ask for help. So frustrating. This isn't really something I wanted to learn at 30. Math isn't something I really enjoyed learning before and I certainly don't like explaining that I don't understand her third grader's homework. I need to learn before I can help her and it makes me really really frustrated. I understand that they are trying to standardize things, but this is getting silly. They are making it harder then it has to be and I hate that! I struggled with math as a child. I can't even imagine trying to do things now. They are learning in a way that makes zero sense to me. Right now learning is frustrating. I see the word and it makes me think of helping McKayla. The poor thing is trying to explain it to me and she is getting frustrated because mommy doesn't get it. This was NOT supposed to happen at age 8 (almost 9!). I thought I had years before I would have to start learning again, but alas, I am back to it. M's teacher is sending me some examples home so that I can learn how she is learning and we also plan to discuss it during her parent teacher conference. So annoying! I wish I could just teach her the way I learned, but this is going to be the way they test, so I can't.

October 5 

I love Natalie's expression in this picture. She is clearly not amused to be in this "swing" but not able to get herself off. It's like life sometimes. We are on this ride that was not what we signed up for and all we want is off. But we can't do it ourselves. No matter how hard we try, we aren't going to be able to handle this life on our own. We need help from the source. He is the only one who can help us get through the ride without harm. No matter how hard we try on our own, we just make it harder. I really like the story about the goat. He was stuck in a dry well. The farmer couldn't get him out (who knows why, doesn't seem that hard!) but he gave up on the goat and decided to put it to rest by burring it alive (my goodness this story is sounding a lot worse typed out!). So, shovel full by shovel full, he started to slowly fill the hole. But what the goat did is what we have to do, he would shake the dirt off, stomp around a bit and just keep doing that. The way he was doing that he was keeping the ground (and dirt) under his feet, no matter what the farmer flung in the hole. It's an amazing metaphor for our lives. We can be the farmer and just give up when it seems you are stuck in an impossible situation or we can be like the goat and brush it off and keep going. I am sure the goat wasn't happy about having that dirt dumped on him, and he probably wasn't quiet, but he kept at it, didn't give up. That is how we have to be. We can't just give up and figure we will be stuck until we die, we have to shake it off, ask for help and move on.

October 6 

I always like to say that there is some that I do know and a lot that I don't know. Or is that do? I don't know. lol But I have a lot of what my mom affectionately called "brain farts" that leave me wondering what the heck I was thinking about or what I was doing. It is expected at this stage in my grief, but I am more prone to these attacks. I know that it is something that will get better, but sometimes I wonder. It might just be something I have to live with more of. There are a few things I do know: I know that God loves and will never stop. I know that I have three amazing children who God will help me raise the way He wants me to. I know that I have a finance who loves me and would do almost anything for me. I know that I have an amazingly supportive group of coworkers. Not many people can say their coworkers paid for them to get home and in three short hours no less. I know that I have a job that isn't going anywhere. I am in an industry that isn't going away. Everyone needs a doctor and those doctors are always going to need staff to support them. I know many things. Many important things, some not so important but I do know things. I know that I am rocking my jamberry sales and am excited about it. I know that I am determined to meet my goals and do well at this job. I know that it's fun to promote a product that I love. I just wish I knew a bit more about the business side so I could do that more easily. But I have lots of family and friends who have been amazingly supportive so far with my business endeavor.

October 7

The first thing that comes in to my mind when I think of is driving. I go crazy when I am out and about driving. Especially when I have a specific place and time to be somewhere. The traffic and stupid things people do irritates me and more often then not I am yelling at them. "GO!" It was especially infuriating the other morning on my way to work, I went from cruising at 60ish mph (construction zone) to like 5 mph. All because they had changed the lanes a bit So annoyed when I realized why everyone was slowing. All I wanted to do was go. They were being more careful then I was, well more cautious at least. Not to say I am not a careful driver, I just don't think it is safe to go from regular speed to really, really slow in the span of a mile. The funny thing is that it's a chain reaction. The person who initially slowed caused everyone else to do so, that made it even a bigger mess. The people in the back (where I was!) had zero idea what was going on. All I knew is that I wasn't going anywhere. That could really symbolize life. There are many of us who are just going the path. Following the clump of cars around us, not sure really what is going on. We might have a plan but no real way to deal with problems when they come up. Sometimes they bring us from comfortably "going" along in life to being stopped. And it isn't something you can just pick up and resume your previous speed. You have to follow the direction of the rest of the traffic. I guess that part isn't really like life, you want to go at your own rate. Oh well. There goes that symbolism!

October 8

 When I think about the word say, immediately my mind wanders to how much words can hurt. What you say to someone else can really effect them. I have been told things (in my younger years) that have stayed with me. It's heartbreaking especially when it happens to your kids and you can't do anything about it. My girls are constantly coming in the house and saying that someone called them this name or that, or even that someone called them mean or rude. They are my girls, so of course this brings them to tears. They don't want to be that kid who is rude or mean. At this young an age (my oldest is just shy of nine) and they are already concerned about what other people say about them or to them. I am trying really hard to make them understand that they are only words, and that what matters is what is going on inside. If they know they aren't rude and they know they aren't mean, they need to figure out how to remind themselves of that. I don't want my children to be hard-hearted, but I don't want them crying every time someone says something mean to them. It's a really tough struggle. I want the words that come out of my mouth to be pleasing to the Lord. That means that I am going to do my best not to gossip or say mean things about people. It also means that I will use my words to try and lift people up. I pray that my words are a reflection of what I believe. People should be able to know that I am christian by the way that I talk and the way I behave. Not only that, but people will judge all Christians by what one person is saying. What you say matters. Don't throw your words away so easily. Stop and think about the words that are about to come out of your mouth.

October 9 

When I see the word join, the only thing I can think of right now is Jamberry. I have had so much fun since joining. I love being able to share something I love with the people who are closest to me. I love being able to make money sharing that with others. Won't lie, I am slightly addicted. This payday I am buying three sheets for the girls, but also one for me. I am thinking Halloween ones might be fun! We will see what strikes my fancy when I am placing my order. =) I won't go into detail about what jamberry has also given me, but I will say that it has given me a new purpose. It fills a little bit of the void in my life. When the girls aren't home I am able to focus on the business and hopefully start earning some real money to help them have a great life. I would love to be able to use jamberry to get my girls into the extra circular activities that I haven't been able to afford. The best part of joining, to me, is that in my first two weeks I totally made back the cost of my kit plus the costs of some of the other things I splurged on for the business. Joining jamberry has been life changing for me. Who knows where it will take me in a few years, but I have heard of consultants who pay their mortgage on what they make from Jamberry. It's amazing. I won't use this as a platform to try and "sell it to you" but I will say if you are interested, let me know so I can get you some more information. I love that I have joined a company who rewards their consultants. I love that I have something I love that I can share and earn money. All it took was that leap of faith that it would work as long as I was willing to put the time and energy into it. I had to take the step of faith that my money wasn't being wasted.

October 10 - Five Minute Friday

I hear care and immediately think of my job. I work in an internal medicine office. For those unfamiliar, it is basically a primary care office for adults. A majority of our patients are elderly. I love being a partner in their care. There are a few patients who I have really grown to love. Not only do I care about them getting taken care of, but I care about what happens to them. It's been three years since I started and I still have a few favorite patients. Thanks to HIPAA, I can't share anything about any of them, but I sure love my job and (most of) my patients! Another thing that comes to mind when I think of care is my sweet finance Stephen. He also works with elderly patients, though his care is with them in a nursing home. I can't imagine doing what he does, spending the time with them that he does and dealing with losing them. He has grown so close to a few of his residents that he remained friends with the families after their passing. It's really amazing to hear him talk about his job. Like anyone else, there are days both of us don't like it, but overall the opportunity that we have to help care for the elderly in our community is wonderful.



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