Another poem

I love you,
this isn't your fault,
please quit saying you're sorry

you didn't cause any of this

this weight on your chest
this knot in your stomach
this fog in your brain
this exhaustion in your bones
these tears in your eyes
this darkness in your thoughts
this emptiness in your soul
the friends that have abandoned you
the lack of hope you feel
these endless nights of despair
these marks you have put in your skin
the terrible voices in your head
this crawling under your skin
this coldness in your blood
this terrible sadness that blankets you
this feeling of drowning in anxiety
the lack of people willing to listen to you
the numbness that washes over you
these holes in your heart
the moments of wanting to give up
this relentless feeling that you are broken

it's not your fault
it's not your fault
it's not your fault

none of it is your fault

put two fingers on your pulse

feel your heart beating

you are still alive

what a miracle

the shadow of depression has tried
to destroy you - but couldn't

you are still here
you have endured such suffering
and you are still here
and I'm so very grateful

we need you
the world needs you
I need you

the last poison that depression
wants you to drink is filled
with the lie that this is all
your fault

it isn't

you didn't cause your depression
you aren't being punished
you aren't cursed
you aren't deserving of this pain

but you sure as hell
are going to survive it

your scars will be made
into violin strings

your tears will be made
into a riptide of courage

your pain will be made
into the story of survival

your depression
isn't your fault

you didn't do anything wrong

you don't need to forgive yourself
you just need to love yourself

write this down:
there is nothing to be forgiven for
there is nothing to be forgiven for
there is nothing to be forgiven for

write it over and over
on paper
on your skin
on the walls
on the sand

anywhere where you will keep reading it
so many times

that you can't help believe it

your depression isn't your fault

please hold on,
this isn't your fault

your depression isn't going to destroy you
or define you

you are a beautiful work of creation

like a piece of ornate pottery
forged in fire
you haven't been burned by the flames

you have been made into art

I love you,
this isn't your fault

please quit saying you're sorry

~ John Roedel

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